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Posted by anonymous at November 11, 2009
Tags: Juvenile problems  November 2009  Philosophical  Relationship  School

I feel as though I've been abandoned by everyone. By friends, family, love, and god.

I fell in love with my ex-girlfriend 2 years ago, and she brought true happiness in my life. I would've done anything to please, and I thought the opposite for her. Weeks back, she breaks up, wishing to concentrate on her school work. Yesterday, I see her with someone else.

I wanted to go to art school, but last minute discoveries led to financial problems, and despite the wishes and promises my family say they would fulfill, I couldn't go. My dreams of being an animator are crushed by this. Now I've spent the fall semester doing nothing but staying at home and sleeping. Spring semester, I go to college, only to do a major I have no interest in participating in.

As for God, now, he just seems to never be there. I look for him, but nothing answers. Nothing answers besides pain, depression, sorrow, and sadness.

After she left me, I can't find a reason to stay here in this world. I want to die, move on from this place, and if eternal nothingness is at the end of that transition, so be it. Better than living without her, anyhow. Only reason I don't is because I have to repay my family, for all the time they've wasted on raising me. Only reason.

Fucking shit sucks.


Similar Entries:
There is no point anymore August 10, 2011
I'm abandoned person who lived to feel loneliness and sadness April 9, 2012
Waiting for the end August 23, 2010
untitled story February 9, 2011
Sick and Tired November 26, 2011

New Comment

By anonymous at 11,Nov,09 22:30

ok first off . I am from India . Not from a rich family .about the girl friend part .Ok be happy that she left u now before u coll started . Would u be happy if u married her and then find that she doesnot like u .so its better tohave loved and lost than to have never loved at all .If u believe in god /or believe that ur responsible to something dont hate her . And i dont think u are old enuff to think about suicide . Listen if u do that u are a coward . I mean people are made of stronger stuff than that .Money thing u say u want to become an animator ( i dont know what that means :) but i assume its got something to do with drawing) . and the one thing u got to know is that your talent is what makes u different ( i Write ) the thing that makes u stand out from the crowd .its ur identity .talent is smething u are born with and u keep saying god is not there .it is gods way of telling u that u are different from others . Sorry money . i too had the same problem (not the same but parents play an imp role in our lives , they wanted me to study MBA first i rebelled against it then i thought ok once i get through and start earning money i can do whatever i want with that ,suggest udo the same thing


By anonymous at 13,Nov,09 15:39

Never base your happiness on another person. Cliched but true. You have to build your own life- your goals, your hobbies, and be happy independently.

By patriot142 at 18,Nov,09 06:40

you can let a girl get to you like that. i mean maybe she was all you say she was, but you have to remember there is other fish in the sea. :p all you gotta do is get through school go to college and get a kick ass job girls will come runnin :D well thats what im hoping anyways.

glad ur holdin on and not doing something stupid. even if you are only not doing it cause of ur family

By DJ at 23,Nov,09 15:12

God is going to always be there. its you that seems to be pulling away from him. He always listens, he always lends an ear. you should ask God to give you guidance, show you where to go, ask him to bring people into your life who can help you.

Life is not about this girl who left you, Life is about you, your relationship with God and what you do for others. Why die just becuase this girl didnt feel the same about you? would you rather she stayed with you out of pity or obligation? she simply did not have any feelings for you and she gave you the biggest favor and let you go. otherwise the relationship would seem unfair to both of you becuase she would be with someone she doesnt like, and you would be with someone who's only giving you false feelings and is only staying with you based on false reasons. She has moved on and so should you. she does not hold your happiness, YOU do.

for school, ALWAYS chase after your true dream. if you only settle for something else, you will not be happy. ALWAYS chase your dreams.

By anonymous at 31,Jan,10 16:41

Hello from God,
yes fucking shit does suck, so try fucking girls.

By anonymous at 28,Mar,10 01:58

I'm sorry but I don't believe in god at all... I gave up on him not because my life sucks, because it's just impossible that he's real but anyway. If u do believe than I encourage uto keep believing because I feel so alone. I have no one to thank, to ask, to talk to ... I kiss thinkig that he was real. Even hough I new he wasn't.. Now I've for no one

By oem software at 10,Feb,12 15:24

5nrrTX 52. "The road will be overcome by that person, who goes." I wish you never stopped and be creative - forever..!!

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