LIFE SUCKS

why im unhappy and its not because of material objects

Everyone on this form complains about how much stuff they wish they had and how they would be happier with this or that.. fuckin retarded talk get a job and buy it or go sell some drugs or your body or something..

naa but seriously.. i make mistakes like everyone else. and im accountable for those things. it just really sucks when the mistakes you make are long term and their extremely difficult to fix. it doesn't help when you try and try and nothing gets better so the stress keeps adding on.. untill your on some dumb website venting about what your upset about. I wish more then anything i could just have a reset button for my whole life and take different paths. constructive, self made amazing paths that i applied myself at a young age to really achieve something great. my whole life people have told me i'm a smart person, and i never understood why considering i have nothing to show for my life as of now. intelligence shouldn't be measured by how well you understand things but of what choices you make that lead you to victory. and i would think true victory is happiness. i got all the stupid material objects i had realistic goals for: a nice car bunch of clothes iphone laptop xbox tv ext and everything is so pointless. i feel like life alltogether is pointless. i understand the goal of life is just to enjoy it while it lasts but when you die and nothing you did really matters does it really matter when you die? not so much.. im not scared of life im not a coward i have already felt emotional pain worse then i could ever feel again. so much it's numbed my conscious and my respect of the world. this feeling of hopelessness is making me antisocial, anti life... why am i unhappy again? because everything in life runs on a seriously rocky road for me. nothing ever goes as planned or smoothly and stress free, everytime anything good happens it gets thrown in my face along with disappointment and someother fucked up thing. one thing good happens, 3 things bad. its life i know but its not the same for everyone, most people have support somewhere but i feel alone, not because i have no one but because the people i have are wicked and corrupt in their own self serving ways and the ones that arnt could never understand because they cant understand when your brother dies it feels like half of your heart died because the only person on the planet really like you is gone. never get to see what they'll be like and they'll never see you develop into the person you want to become. its been 5 years since he died no matter who you are if you think i should be over it by now i agree but you cant understand that it broke my heart.