LIFE SUCKS

untitled story

I was born in Canada, ripped away from the homeland. At 21 years of age, and I still do not know who I am. I have this issue were I mental block on everything. Honestly, I'm sure certain people believe I can revolutionize the world. I do. But I live my life on the sidelines unable to comprehend why I cannot do a simple thing like opening a book. There is all these ideas running around in my head but I refuse to write them down. I put the PRO in front of Procrastination. Procrastination summarizes my life. Laziness summarizes my life. All my life Ive felt the urge of helping others but how can I when I cant even help myself. I am capable of ace-ing whatever classe I partake whenever I study. But I refuse to study. Some say I am extremely intelligent. That's not true. Natural born intelligence is just like talent. It is worth crap. Hardwork is worth something, work ethic is gets you places, productivity is success. Frankly, why Am I even writing this, the thoughts of death cling unto my mind daily, but then I remember my best friend whos mother is dying from cancer. Now how can I look him in the eye and tell him I want to kill myself when God has blessed me with everything I need to succeed. Perfect health.
That kid might lose his mother, a woman I look up to, and tell him that his pain is ok but mine is worth killing myself over. My mom and dad bled to give me a livelihood. My sisters would do anything to make me succeed. But I feel hopeless.
They say the fool thinks of himself to be a wise man, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
People on this forum, you people care about getting laid, or not being loved, or feel helpless. At the end of the day who gives a damn, We are all alive and breathing, the worlds biggest success stories are created by people who fail. Humanity needs a dream. Everything starts with a dream.
Life is but a dream. You wake up and one day it is all over. Do something for yourself. Go out at night when no one is looking and jog. Even if it is 30 seconds. Try something you havent tried before. And girls? Screw them, there not worth it. And to the girls quit picking assholes. You know those nice guys you complain about not existing, well they are in the friend zone where you left them.
Concentrate on yourself, on something you like, a passion and develop that. I use to be a chubby kid, all I wanted to do is fit in, until the day I told myself whos gives a f***. I look at all those people I thought were cool back in the day and they all turned up to not succeed in life. Its the underdogs that make it, cuz we know what failing is all about. Damn I dont know how I started typing this or why... Oh yeah I was procrastinating again trying to find an excuse for myself. An excuse on why I feel this way. Well here I am..and you know what, I coming to do my homework for the first time this semester. I dont know about you guys, but I want out. I want out of this depressive state. Im going to break out and change the world. I dont care if its absurd, Im going to Damn right do it because death is not an option. Death is an inevitable result that everyone will go through, Im going to stretch my lifespan as much as possible. And leave my mark on this planet. I know you feel helpless and hopeless.. I do to... But starting today Ill be taking that energy and face my fears no matter what they are. Why not do it together. Its not life we have anything better to do