English is not my native language, so excuse any mistakes please.
I have been alone (this is not loneliness anymore) all my life. I grew up in a very strict/overprotecting family that barely let me had contact with other children outside school, so, during my childhood and teenage years I only made 2 friends. I truly believe that the older one gets the harder is to make friends and really connect with someone... so, during my college years, although I made 2 more friends, it didn't get any better. I have always been kind of a nerdy person and, since I studied a medical career, I focused more on books than on meeting people. Big mistake, now I know.
I managed (I really don't know how), to get involved in a serious relationship during that time and it was a complete disaster. This man really mistreated me and I endured it because I really didn't know anything about relationships and what is acceptable and what it isn't. I stayed with him for 3 years and after that I finally made the decision to end the nightmare.
Having tasted how it is to feel that someone is there for you (although he never really was), I didn't know how to go back to having no one. I felt at the bottom of the spiral right there.
At that point of time, in order to "cure" my loneliness, and having graduated from college, I decided to focus on the few friends I have. I used to go out a lot and try not to think about how much I would love to have someone that I could go home to. My loneliness was controlled, but always lingered there at the back of my mind.
Right now all my friends are married and some even have kids. I don't see them as often anymore (almost never) and I'm exactly where I started: completely by myself.
I go to work everyday and have contact with patients and coworkers, but nothing that would last at the end of the day. No one I really connect with. I'm not even talking about a partner here, I'm talking about not even having a friend.
Funny/sad thing is that I'm a 28 yrs old woman, successful, good looking and with common sense. People think I'm pretty happy... Life and its sarcasms.
Thanks for reading.
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As the fact that you are a woman and a doctor, I truely hope that your life will eventually get better unless mine. So chin up and smile a bit :)
Today I am pissed off to my extreme, so I unwittingly googled and ended up here reading your post. Besides I'm not really a type of person to sit and waste time by writing a comment and giving sympathy to somebody,but in this case I wish to comment since I just red a mirror image of the story of my life.
Chao Doctor Take Care...
And I love every minute of it. I finally have found a site of people who are just as miserable as I am. I am sucking every ounce of enjoyment that I can muster reading about other people's lives, because then mine doesn't seem so bad.
And it isn't.
I think there is therapy in writing to complete strangers about your problems.
There is no judgement. With friends, relatives and co-worker's there is always judgement. They might now show it on the outside, but they shelve it away. They stash it somewhere and then you are forever "LABELED".
Anyhow,
I have said enough.
Cursed
By the way, I have herpes. Got any advice for me?
I don't want everything to be perfect, is having friends asking for too much in your world? Someone who cares? Someone to talk to about life itself? I don't think so.
I don't even know you and I can really tell why you are alone (assuming you are here for that reason), because being rude and sarcastic is not gonna get you nowhere near people.
Unneeded comment since you don't even know me to judge me like that. Use your common sense.
i am first time on the site like this
your story is somewhat similar to mine
i was also from tooooooo strict family who killed my sole any and every chance of happines before i could understand what happiness was.
i had nothing to do except to study-no friends, no love all i lived, was with the killing strictness and sentence of my parents.
i tried to be a doctor, but i was in so much of stress that i could not complete the course, i was stressed becouse when i realised my condition,--- it was too late ( i hope somebody can understand what i am writng)
i somehow went to a scholorship progaram and now in fiannce ministry in india, i am very smart at desk,and i am one of the best capable guys in the office.
but
i am still not able to cope up with the stress of my lonliness, i am not able to talk to any of the person around about any other topic which is not related to work,----may be i have adopted to be workaholic to surive and keep myself away from my memories.
i always wanted to be in a relation and create a loving family of my own, but till date,i am 28, i have not even dare to propose any girl. may be what fear i have no good experience with my family, and dont want to increse in that.
i stay alone and just dont underestand what i should do with money that i earn. i never have any relation with any girl/ however i have many connections(this is the term used in governmet for business relation).
but i am still living my life may be i am too week to commit suside.
so doctor you are not alone, the GOD has created a place where some of us continuously suffer and others continuously enjoy. we have 2 choices to live or to die.
i prefer to live and see what more is there to suffer
if anybody can suggest me please mail me at
xxxxx@india.com
this is a real ID and not fake, i will reply back
We were probably the closest of all my siblings. My Family was always about Money. But with me and my brother it was about love and Family. Funny as we were the black Sheep. But you know I took up my writing again. I write poetry. I Actually am getting published. I Joined a Gym and I am trying to better my life. I have a few friends but they live out of state and I never see them and Rarely speak now as they have there own lives. I am a good person and I have allot of love to share. But I have always made the mistake of trusting the wrong people. So now it seems I put up a wall that is hard to break down. But good luck with everyone I hope you get out of life what you want. Keep your smiles to light up the long dark road.
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