To think that it took 14 billions years before a bunch of cells clumped together to form a conscious being that would one day reflect upon itself and declare everything as pointless, meaningless, etc. I was born with a condition called cystic hygroma. This basically creates tumors around the body that can be a a nuisance and can be painful if hit hard enough, I've had a total of 19 surgeries. Three of which are fairly recent. I remember being in the hospital for months at a time as a child. I eventually became healthy enough to live outside which lasted about a good 12 years from age 6 to 17, then out of nowhere I began having problems walking and feeling my legs. I was also developing a relationship with this girl, but unfortunately like always my unhealthy body had other plans. A few doctors visits later I find out I have a tethered spinal cord. The surgery was successful, but I ended up a paraplegic for about a year and a half. I eventually regained my ability to walk again. I also have severe scoliosis which I underwent surgery for which helped to improve it a decent amount. I attend a junior college where I earn mediocre grades while I battle intense depression. You know, the depression so bad you can't make yourself do anything. I didn't get a fair shot at life and it pisses me off, but I remember that the universe, and nature doesn't give a crap because it's not aware. I'm just another piece of decaying matter living a pointless existence just like everything and everyone else. I also refuse to reproduce because I will just be creating more miserable humans. I go on gore sites occasionally to remind myself of how humans are snuffed out of existence like flies. I learned that nihilism and being depressed has really opened my eyes to the futility of existence. So I get up every day trying to beat my depression which feels impossible, trying to read my textbooks to learn new things, trying to get better at guitar, trying to work at becoming a game developer(I have big ideas for that). Trying to find the motivation to workout, just trying to occupy my time with things that give me a reason to live. | |
Here is the way how I understand it, individual is better off stick to what he or she is good at, whatever that may be, just to make a different that one unique self can make in a limited life spent. The universe is not interested in copy, and nature it-self gives every individual certain uniqueness in our species. May that be done intentionally or unintentionally.
Find that reason to live from within and then change your world with it. Don't give up, keep trying.
Take him at his word, for once.
I didn't get a fair shake starting off either. Never a virgin, I was fucked from the start. Not that life turned out amazing, but I'm beating the odds, that's worth something. You only get one chance to live. Some people die at birth and don't even get that.
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