I am a 36-year-old man, unemployed, unmarried - a total loser. I don't have any friends, because I'm too ugly that nobody would want anything to do with me. For the same reason I have never had a girlfriend. I am below par to even be considered asexual.
I am also fat. Now, that's my own fault and I could have also gotten plastic surgery for my face, back when I still had money, but now I am broke and have to live on social welfare. I am only a burden to the taxpayer and I only cause harm by existing.
Everything is against me. Everybody hates me. Nothing ever succeeds for me. I've lost my home, have to live in a small apartment that sucks and I cannot do anything. Not that I'd want to go outside, because there are people there and I don't want them to see me.
People suck. They are all evil monsters, who want to exploit everything for their selfish ends. They only want to hurt others and ridicule everyone. I hate people. The way they have treated me all my life and how they generally act has made me a misanthrope.
I had my own company for a while, but that of course failed. I have a Bachelor's degree in Finance, but I haven't worked a single day, because I didn't have the necessary connections and I am too ugly. Yes, it's a big factor in hiring nowadays. Really.
I'm an utter failure in all facets of life. I don't live, I only exist, I cannot live, I am too ugly and I lack essential skills to manage my life. Ultimately it is all my fault for being so inept, but I feel I was dealt a really bad hand and the universe fucks with me all the time.
Very sad is that deep down I'm a compassionate, literate, highly intelligent potential contributor to the society, but I have been shunned all my life for what I am on the outside. I could have been a loving, caring husband and father, a successful corporate suit and who knows what else, but the world has killed it and none of it will ever be.
Yeah, I know, life isn't fair, get over it, but I just can't. I am somehow unable to make it in life. I just cannot beat this. Every day I think about death, because I know I will never work, I will never be loved; I will always be alone, hated and mocked. Every day is suffering. I should just die.
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its a primal thing, to survive
people only care about what is on the outside - not all this bullshit about "being good on the inside" its garbage, people just want to make money, fuck good looking people, and be filthy rich & charismatic, some deny it, It is the ugly truth of this world
I just wish i could get a Time Machine to relive my youth, or even better go to the 50's and make a life there, i would probably last until the 00's again, but at least i would have the opportunity live in all the greatest decades before this shity millennium when the world start going down the drain...
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