I met this girl I thought i really loved and was gonna marry her. so i bought her an expensive engagement ring then she cheated on me with my best friend and about 10 others. on top of that she gave me numerous STD's and just fucked up my whole life. so now I cant have her or any other normal relationship. she was also pregnant with a baby that might of been mine and had an abortion. so I left that place and have been roaming around aimlessly for 5 years. and my dad was a drug dealer, never saw him and still dont speak to him to this day. i try to find happiness in every day life but im just fucking depressed. and no matter what happens every body I meet doesnt want anything to do with me. | |
You don't [appear] to have any real responsibility that requires you to stay in one place. That (in my mind) equates to freedom that many don't have.
it doesn't take much. you could do so much~ with the right attitude of course. And it's really amazing what one single individual can do to improve others' overall outlook in life.
Live by example is what I keep trying to remember, especially since I have small children.
A friend of mine works for a few months and lives poor, conserves, and saves enough to travel for up to 6 months.
and she works low-wage jobs.
i also love this man's blog called theoasisofmysoul dot com.
i would love to do this with my kids even!
I don't know that any of this would interest you but going it solo and being on your own allows you to create and build the world that you want to pursue, and possibly, share.
I'm not religious but having become more spiritual has been good for me. Looking inward helps you to accept what is being brought in from the outside...if that makes any sense.
also, i take something called SamE (over the counter) and try and exercise because that can chemically make you feel better too!
Good luck to you :)
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