i just wanted to say that my agony inside doesnt come from one direct issue or disappointment . its a combination of little shit that just builds up. its this feeling i have in my gut, like someone just punched me in the stomach. this feeling is hallow and very heavy. its weighs my entire body down to a apoint where i have no motivation t really move or do anything. there are things that make me feel better about myself and my situation but when i am doing these things i take a step back and look at what im doin and i just knock myself down a few steps. its almost like i am going on a first date with myself when i get ready and that i am trying to convince myself that i am beautiful and worth it and fun and freindly. i try to tell myself im a good person and people like me and that i like myself too. but i take a step back an no one likes me no one wnts to be my friend. im 20 an all i have is my BF and thats it. i log onto these social media cites and everyone else is having so much fun every weekend and all i do is sit in my room and cry and mope around. FML is so pathetic, i wish i felt a warm feeling of purpose and passion running through me,but all i feel is this heavy empty feeling inside. |
Im sorry to hear about all the hardships you've endured. Its not over, heres some good news!
God uses the weak, the powerless, the hurt, and the lonely in GREAT ways. Heres a illustration: A potter will take a helpless, lifeless lump of clay and then knead it and squeeze it until it's soft and pliable. And then when he gets it just right, he takes that piece of clay and he does something called throwing, where he places the clay on a spinning table.
aAnd as that clay is placed upon that turning wheel, the potter's hands then begin to pressure the clay and work it until he makes something beautiful out of that old ugly piece of clay.
God is the true master craftsman. He is a potter who is making something beautiful out of every life. He will take the old ugly mistakes and sins and make them into something completely new!
When you truly know God, you can live victoriously! So whatever the ugliness is in your life, be assured that through the blood of Christ, God molds you and makes you into something beautiful! Many people can testify to how God has changed them. Ive never heard of anyone regretting putting their faith in jesus.
Are you saved? God can turn the worst of situations into good! Joeseph was put into slavery by his brothers, he was abandonded, afraid, probably thought his life was over. But he trusted God, he then eventually became second in command of Egypt. Without looking into the future it can be hard to be optimistic. If you put your faith with jesus he wont abandon you, he will love you and give you a new life.
Youtube Nick vujicic. He's a man who was born with no legs or arms, God has done great things through him.
This isin't an ad or some other bull, I'm trying to bring you the truth which many can testify too.
Regards,
Kevin
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