LIFE SUCKS

will anyone even bother to read this?

I am a 43 year old male who has a good job and is okay looking for someone this old. My wife i found out earlier this year was sleeping with my sons 22 year old tennis coach. we were childhood sweethearts and had been together for 24 years. she up and left several months ago and now is dating some 29 year old. We have two young kids aged 11 and 14. I feel so betryed by what she has done. My father died late last year and my mother is now in a nursing home. I have tried on three occasions to kill myself but have been unsuccesful. Twice I woke up in the hospital where I spent several days. I hate how i feel everyday and can't seem to move on. I still love my wife and it kills me to think of her with someone else. I know I dont own her or anything like that but i grieve for her everyday. She blames me for the break up saying that she never felt good enuf for me. I told her that was crap but I do acknowledge that I said things to her that made her feel that way. I am just so sad that after all these years together it had to end like this. Each day i feel like ending my life because I feel in such pain and it is overwhelming. I know people have it worse than me, i'm not stupid. But to me it feels like my life has ended. All the dreams and hopes I had were with her now its all gone and I feel so completely alone. I dont have close friends to turn to because over th ecourse of my marriage I focussed more on my family to the detriment of my friendships. I dont feel i have anything to offer anyone as a friend and have felt this for most of my life. My wife once called me boring. Admittidly she was drunk at the time but that comment has forever haunted me. If I am boring as she says, then what do I have to offer anyone? Is death the only thing that says to people I'm over feeling this way?