all my life ive been letdown. i have always been letdown by family friends and all the lies ive been told. it never came to me till i was a freshmen in high school. i never was successful at anything to do. i had no ambition or motivation to better myself or even attempt to try. freshmen year i was always picked on, i was the fat guy on the football team who tried his best but coaches never gave credit to. so i decided to quit. i went to one dance that year, i tried to dance with some girls, it was like i wasnt even there, then some guy just pushed me aside and was grinding with his girlfriend, i just sat in the back crying. sophomore year i decided to do football again, i weighed at least 300+ pounds so i was picked on even when i kept up with the team i remember we had one last condition and two coaches were picking on me. one of the coaches said " hey fat-f*** pretend theres a cheeseburger at the end of the line" ignoring his rude comment i kept up with the rest. the other coach said to me " thats right move them ham hawks boy" so i quit because "No matter what i do, it never pays off" sophomore year was nothing but more misery, when summer came along i decided to work out, i had one and one motivation only "to get a girlfriend by losing wieght" when summer was over i was 290 and everyone commented on it, i was like finally this is gonna pay off. Still that year was miserable and still no girlfriend. if you read this far im impressed at the fact your still here, it means alot to me. junior summer was when i had no motivation to do anything, all i did was eat and play world of warcraft. when senior year started i quit that computer game, i thought to myself this is my last year this is my last chance. i met this once beautiful girl, she literally changed my world. she was beautiful inside and out. only she was a freshmen. we were great friends until she stopped talking to me for some odd reason. 3 months went by i wrote her a note telling her how i felt, she said she liked me too. i asked her out on that piece of paper. i never got it back. i tried to be friends again but she turned into a stuck up girly girl. months went by and still nothing. i never felt so miserable in my life. i met another girl, but she turned out to be whore. i dont mess with those type. graduation day came by, everyone was happy and excited to move on, i felt miserable and i had the worst suicidal thoughts during the ceremony. all high school was nothing but a painful memory leaving me with alot of social anxiety, lack of motivation and im gaining all my weight back. im in college now and its the same experience as high school only im getting fat and bald. this is the story of my life...
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