LIFE SUCKS

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im in love with a boy. he canīt love me back.

same old story eh? been in love with him for 6 years now.

he loves me like in a brotherly way, but of course, that
is just not enough, never.

today i almost ended both our lives in a big sudden depression.

call me selfish if u like. dont care anymore what others think.
i just want what everyone seems to have at
some point. love. i dont love anybody but him, he saved my
life once and since then i canīt seem to be able to just leave
him the fuck alone.

im crying right now and i dont know what ill do with myself right
now but dying seems like a way out.

i understand his position as well as the grotesque nature of my
feelings but canīt live with it happily. I thought iīd stop liking him once
he hit puberty but now i dont even like him, i just love him madly.
Wish some idiotic bastard could just track me from here and shoot me
on the fucking head.

i have almost everything, but without knowing someone loves you back, life is worthless.

hes 13, im 24. weīre both males. everybody go ahead and bash me. i dont care.

i do hope i disgust some people. im sick of changing myself to be "likable" or "friendly". The boy didnt let me cut myself, he wants me to stay.