My name is Trevor I'm 14, and my life sucks balls..
i have been molested, im gay, and both my parents died after being divorced since i was three.
When i was born i had a family. my older brother and my parents. when i was three my father left because him and my mom had fights. after he left my mom started dating women not because she was lesbian but because she felt more in control. she was an alcoholic and barely let my dad visit. She was a great mother and loved me and my brother very much. Her and her girlfriends she brought home would always fight at night and sometimes even fist fought. When i was six i was molested by my pre-school janitor. i told my mom and she told the police and they put him in jail. That's when i got my first therapist. then when i was nine i was struggling with my sexuality and i didn't know what i was. soon after there was a fire im my house,me and my brother made it out and ran across the street to our neighbors. they called the fire department and we waited. my grandma arrived with the police and they sat down next to us. they told me and my brother that our mom tried to get to me and my brother instead of going to the backyard she ran into her closet which was right next to the door leading to us and got trapped she suffocated to death. My brother and I moved in with my grandma who takes care of me to this day. My brother and i went to group therapy and he got very angry over a few years. He would always yell and break things, so finally my grandma kicked him out. i still see him but not as much as before. my brother is my best friend. My dad would call me and my brother drunk constantly and it was terrible. i got another therapist who sucked and i hated her. so i finally told my grandma and she stopped the sessions. I started getting into as many drugs as i could get my hands on until i was caught by my grandma. then i was caught at school and i got expelled. I knew my sexuality by then and told my grandma who was very supportive even though my step grandpa thinks its a choice and that its wrong. i got another therapist who is my therapist at the moment. her name is erika and she is helping me cope through everything using T.F.C.B.T-trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy
we were making a lot of progress until my dad got cancer and my brother told me. we went to see him and he apologized for everything. he had it in his arm stomach and legs. I told him he had my support and that he better come through for me and my brother. two days after he died. its been 2 months and i wanted to rant about everything... | |
karmas do come back around
im just warning you
Ignore fools who make you feel negatively about your sexuality, the ones who don't care either way are the keepers.
my father died when i was young, too. it was very hard but gradually you will find his spirit with you. he may not have been the nicest while you were alive but that doesn't mean he didn't love you. i love my mom to death and am meaner to her than almost anyone i know...an odd paradox, i know. anyways, i'm so sorry for your loss of both of your parents...feeling like an orphan. but even the kids who have parents sometimes still feel like orphans. most families are not perfect. eventually you will find your friends and build your circle. they will become your true family. but in order to do that you can't be depressed and shy...you have to find who you are and let that lead you...it's a life long process
life is tough and there are many things to get angry, depressed, and frustrated about...but just stay occupied, express yourself (art, music, writing, work you find passion in, whatever), and remember that your body is your temple...no matter who else is around you the one constant is that you live under that skin...under those muscles and in those bones. don't take that for granted. take care of your temple.
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