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Dad in the dumps

Posted by bEn at June 19, 2011
Tags: Health  2011 June  Money

Well, here's my story. It's interesting how I got where I am. Through a series of events, my life has taken a rapid downward spiral. A few years ago I was happily married with a brand new baby girl. During my marriage, my wife was unhappy with the emotional support I was able to give her as I was working long hours to support us and she chose to be unfaithful. The first couple times she did this I forgave her and we worked on things, but she kept falling back to finding attention from other men. The last time she did this I couldn't handle it anymore (at this time we had another baby girl, so that's two daughters I have). I decided to get a divorce and we had a pretty good plan to keep the girls in a stable situation with joint custody. After the divorce, I was living pretty high. I had an amazing girlfriend that was wonderful with my kids a few months after, but she was kinda young (19) and her family had huge problems with our relationship. This became a rocky relationship as a result, she would be with me then disappear for a while as her family would give her too much greif and then be with me again. This would throw me in to Bi-polar mania when she was around and depression when she was gone, I ended up in the hospital for some time. After getting out of the hospital, I was put on medications to help control my bi-polar issues, however it mostly made me manic, where I racked up debt with credit cards, bought a car (an audi that I cant afford anything to go wrong with), a brand-new work truck, bought an engagement ring for the girlfriend, hoping that would work out (which it did for a while again until her family started fighting with us). Shortly after, I got laid-off from my good job. I decided to start a business and It was going well here and there, I was able to get the money I needed to pay my rent and most of my bills plus I had time to spend with my daughters, then took an opportunity to do contract work out of state with promises to make some good money. So I made arrangements with my ex-wife to have the girls while I was gone and left. There was not nearly as much work as I was told there would be, I made little money and ended up taking a grey-hound home on my Sister's dime (thank god she was able to help or I would have been stuck out there). I got home wildly depressed and not thinking clearly, ended up giving up custody of my girls as I was having to move out of my apartment and go rent a room from a buddy. I had to quit doing my business and look for work. My work truck ended up getting repossesed and I couldn't continue that line of work as a result. I finally found a job with a good company that I start next week, but unfortunately, its fairly low pay and I am having to pay nearly 2/3 of the income to child support and day care (dont get me wrong, I have no problem paying these things - I want my kids to be taken care of) not leaving much to take care of my rent, insurance, and car payment which I have to keep to be able to work and do things with my kids. I've been getting notices from my creditors that they will be filing for judgements against me, so that has the potential to take up the rest of my income. I just don't know how I'm going to live. I'm trying to figure out how I could pay to claim bankruptcy, but its so expensive. I just want to figure a way out of this rutt, get back on track, get a place so I can have my kids back (this is the most important thing to me - my time with them now is spent at their mom's apartment which is very uncomfortable and depressing, I try to take them out to parks and stuff like that as much as possible, but they tire of that. I wish I could spend more quality time with them. I just cant figure things out, I feel I'm on the fast track to become homeless. Its amazing I went from being quite comfortable to this in the past couple years.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 20,Jul,11 22:55

I feel ya man. I'm in a similar situation, went from making a pretty decent living to defaulting on all my credit cards, behind in my mortgage payments, I'm in pretty bad shape. So just take comfort in the knowledge that there are millions of people in similar situations. Your crediotrs may not sue if there's nothing to take. I know thats little comfort but I say no use worrying about things that are out of your control. Just do the best you can and hang in there.


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