LIFE SUCKS

My shitty life

Im 30 years old. My father was an alcoholic and my mother was a huge bitch. She hired some whore babysitter who locked me in the bedroom so she could molest my brother. Or so he tells me because I blocked it out, he then molested me and never explained or talked about the situation later in life. I doubt hes any better. hes the sucessfull one, ironically. After dad left. I had to babysit my little sister and brother who are like 12 years younger than me, so they were babies, litterally. We lived in a slum, my mom was working 3-11 no parents kids dragged my baby brother and sister on the ground cuz they were the only white people, had rocks thrown at outr windows lead poisioned wated and roaches and rats no hot water or heat, no nice clothes. i didnt get paid or even appreciated.
My mom spent her life putting me down trying to hit me, telling me im going to hell. i broke down couldnt take all the neighbors picks on the kids and no parents, kids would fuck things up and balime it on my brother. now my brother is always getting fucking beat up on but he fights back so hes going to prison, for spraying mace in a guys face who attacked him cuz mace isnt legal in my state. Yes I fucking know. Its not fair.
At fucking all. Kids in the upperclass can get away with driving without paying thier insurance my bro was working at tacobell and not getting jack. he couldnt afford rent and auto insurance. he went to jail for it, not a ticket.
some kid threw his dog in the trash, he fought him and it was him who went to jail not the kid who tried to kill a puppy by throwing it away live in a dumpster when it was in his care.
I HAVE FUCKING SOCIAL ANXIETY AND IT MAKES ME TALK OUTLOAD, I say what people expect the worse thing possible, thats what they want right. Im the queen of self sabotage.
FURTHER I wasnt allowed to have the light on at night so i read in the dark then I needed glasses, since i got glasses my vision has deteriorated cuz thats what glasses do, they fuck up your eyes. YAY.
Now I cant even see.
I went to an ortodontist to fix the spaces on my top teeth I should have gotten invisaline but he was like no no no well just bring the first six together with partial braces and noone will ever see the spaces on the side BULLSHIT IT LOOKS HORRIBLE.
So now my teeth still suck. I liked them better BEFORE.
Now onto my nose or shall i say BEAK. Its pointy up turned and freaking huge.
Ive never found love or had tantric orgasmic fucking sex.
Oh I have small tits.
Cuz I STARVED during my adolesence. YEAH LITTERALLY STARVED, the only thing that kept me alive was tubs of government peanutbutter and stuff.
Im too old tired, and I care about nothing I have no drive to do anything it all seems way fucking out of reach and why should I fucking bother???????????????????

I just want to be in ill health and die "accidentally" like Brittany Murphey.