Life sucks, mine as much as many others. I wish I was born 30,000 years ago, when life was less complex. Where all I had to think about was sparking a fire, sharpening my spear, and fighting off ferocious lions and bears from the cave of my clan. Oh, and making love to my cave woman. I could have been Ayla's Jondalar in Mrs Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear. Alas I am not Jondalar and was not born 30,000 years ago. I was born in the modern age, after the Industrial Revolution, after the Age of Enlightment, when humankind began its self-effacing pursuit of intellectual arrogance, claiming its centrality first in the universe, then when that was scientifically debunked claiming our importance at least for this planet and in the eyes of god. Our pursuit of arrogance has culminated in an age where technology and paper notes with imaginary numbers on them form the central tenet of society at the expense of the planet as well as the individual. So, accepting my inability to transcend the laws of space and time and be reborn as Jondalar, in this age of modernism I have just one desire, one thing which may make my life bearable, something which would ease and share the load, something which, when combined with me would form the second half of a self-regulating entity capable of much more than either half could achieve seperately. My desire leads to the following question: Life, how the hell do I get the girl I want? Let me tell you one thing about me, Life. The more I am attracted to a girl, the harder it is for me to speak to them. This becomes so ludicrous that with girls of increasing desiredness I would prefer to be anyone but myself so that at the very least I could just open my mouth and utter a few comprehensible sentences. Consequently I don't think Ayla would have actually been attracted to me. So could I ever speak to a girl that I could potentially fall in love with? Maybe. True love conquers all they say, but in the case of someone who is stupendously idiotic, such as myself, perhaps that is not the case. I did meet a girl who I thought fit this single criterion. But I am a foolish man, and was incapable of transcending my mental disorientation each time I sighted her and will therefore regret the years of 2008 and 2009 for the rest of my life. I'm sure that one day I'll meet another girl close to what this girl seemed to be, but Life (or sympathetic readers), please tell me, how will I get the girl I want? Or should I just stop being a whiny little boy and man up?! | |
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