I have quite the story to tell. To start off I'd tell my status: 19 years old, highschool grad, live with my mom and dad,single. Whatever. Honestly my life doesn't suck, just that would be the truth in most peoples eyes. Me and my family live in a 3 level house, have a decent sized backyard and my parents are never out of money. This christmas my little brothers will be getting almost everything they could want, also today was my moms bday, she's happy and seemed to be contempt with how the day went. So anyway where should I start? Well I'm not happy with my life cus I'm a rich asshole... Ugh no, not close to being the truth. I have a 60 something inch tv a king sized bed iPhone a pos pc, a car that stays in the drive way cus I guess a car with a warped frame and in perfect mechanical condition isn't suitable for driving in the state of ga, it has a salvage title and can't get it switched unless I get a frame stretcher... So that's the beginning of my problems. I have a terrible time getting laid, nuff said. I could never get a job if I tried why do I state that cus that's what I want right now more than anything. I'm stuck in a fuckin house where by everyone opinion would be awesome with the video games and what not, basically all the luxuries that anyone could ask for. There's a time where being in the situation that luxuries is all you have , can make u the poorest person in town, based on the thought that I have no real purpose in life at the time but just be indulgent in my luxuries. Have no personal means to enjoy my life. I'm going to be joining the navy soon, that's what thought three months ago and Now I learn that I may have 6-9 more months to wait. I have encounters with others that have done me wrong, and I never stood up for myself, one reason why I hate myself. I've been single for too fucking long, like 5 years long. I can't enjoy anything unless I made it possible for me to own it on the first place. So unless if I made it my possession then I won't enjoy it. I'm stuck in this prison of a room. But enough of all that, I'll get on to a better story of why I hate my life, all of these random but intense mental/emotional breakdowns lately. That's a reason I hate my life . I have Been experiencing large amounts of guilt, and have been fearing the eminent death of my parents. It's such a long time away but being that I've lived a quarter of life now it's easy to say only to more quarters o life and my parentsll be gone if not sooner than that. I've angered both of them time and again I've dissapointed them too, hurt them. I've stolen money from my mom to smoke pot, I've lied to my parents at least 3 times a day. If fuck up I never seem to learn from my mistakes quick enough to make difference. I'm always mean to my brothers the youngest of the two I swear is gay but I'm more mean to him because of it. I don't really have freinds, but I do have people I chill with. It seems no one pays attention to what I have to say but my family. I am rarely truly thankfull for anything. Sometimes I just get so bored I am overwhelmed with sadness and cry, quite literally bored to tears this situation happens once a week consistently. Even though I'm legally an adult I'm pissed at the gov for consider those who are of legal age as adults when most at that age aren't fully rendered the rights of an adult. 21 to drink and rent hotels also purchase handguns. And 25 to rent cars. Stupid shut like that makes my quality of life shit... I'm always depending on others for money to and am not fully respected by mostly anyone. All of that being said, all of that only rounds up to 1/50th of my problems. At the time I simply hate my life, my opponion in order to love u gotta fight for it work for it, not receive my life as a handout. | |
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