LIFE SUCKS

Feeling worthless and a failure

I'm reading all these other posts and all of a sudden feel selfish. I hate my life, but I haven't been abuse, my parents are great and I live in a happy environment, but I'm not happy. I'm a15 year old girl, I feel as if I should be happy and carefree, but I'm not. It all started in grade seven when girls started bullying me. They called me worthless and made me feel terrible and completely alone. The worst thing was, these girls bullying me were my "friends". I did what they tell you to do in elementary school, I told my mom and everything got dealt with, but the wounds were too deep, and it still hurts today. After that, my family went bankrupt and we lost pretty much everything. We
Ost our car and my dad lost s job, we almost lost our house too. The next year I worked really hard to make new friends and we eventually overcome the money problems. But this year, it seems things are going down hill again. I play basketball and suck.at least I feel like I do. I played on the high school team this year and my coach was constintly putting me down and making me feel bad. I also didn't make the summer team I tried out for and the camp I tried out for. I see other people around me succeeding and I want to and try so hard, but can't. Another thing is my sister was recently diagnosed with depression. It's really hard. I hate seeing her suffer. Because of her problems, I feel like I can't tell anyone about mine because I don't want to be a bother. I hate it. I started cutting myself too. I'm scared I'll do something more sometime. Like kill myself. I just want to disappear. I'm embarrassed by the lack of amazing things I've done with myself. Why am I so unhappy? I'm so young, I should be happy, why aren't I happy?