so today i got broken up with. i never thought she would leave me but she did after all we have said and done she was just able to pack my shit and throw me away like nothing. i know i am not perfect and never ever ever will be but out of all the horrible things i have done i truly think this was a little over board. i'm not saying what i did was right, but it was something she has done herself with her exes and other guys. but i bit my tongue till my mouth filled with blood. i get put down a lot by her to the point where i feel like i am not wanted and just a burden, which makes me react harshly back towards her. but every things "my fault". i hate everything about me and i'm not pointing fingers but shes deff a part of it. but what really shocked me the most is her instant run to all these guys and girls i have had problems with over the (which she is very much well aware of). also the harassment level is off the charts i would never have done this to her if i broke up with her. i don't think anything like that has hurt me more then ever iv'e been cheated on yes but iv'e never seen them do that. to me that's just devious and now shows me the true side of who i thought loved me. were going to try to work it all out tomorrow and get back together maybe, but things will be different i now know for sure what i thought back then before i met her was true, i'll never be truly loved and will always (soul mate wise) be alone. i'm just completely torn from the inside out and will see her a different way but i'm just a fool for still wanting this which everyone of w.e real friends i have left told me. i don't know i'm just lost and stick with what i know. i feel like shit and prob will for a long time. never have i ever wanted to disappear so bad in my life as much as i do now. i hope things will change. | |
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