My life was always pretty lonely. I didn't have many friend my mom would always cry because everytime she picked me up from school I was hanging out alone. That situation sort of improved as I got older, I was still sort of a loner but I hung out with people more. At 16 I started developing depression but I wasn't aware of what was going on. I made friends with this girl who had schizoaffective disorder, and we remained friends until my first year of college. Right around the time of graduation I started developing hypochondria. It started getting really really bad I had to go to the hospital for a panic attack I went to many doctors who all said I was perfectly healthy even though I felt like I was dying. Everytime I get sick now I start panicking that I have a really terrible disease. Anyway back to the friend,she and I became really close but then I started seeing her true colors. At the time she was suicidal and very emotional and she used to drive me crazy. She would text me call me and I would spend hours everyday trying to console her on the phone. It was so exhausting and it really worsened my stress. After my first year of college we fought constantly and never talked since. Throughout college I was depressed and tired because I was lonely and stressed. These days my hypochondria is still really bad, and my depression has gotten worse. I'm lonely, I have great friends and great family, but I feel so lonely. I've never had a boyfriend/no first kiss, never done much because I live at home. I feel so pathetic. | |
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