My name is John and this is my story
I am 27 years old never had a girlfriend never had a good job never had much money. I never really had much of a life i would say that i have been depressed since i was around 15 years old. Had friends at different points in my life but no longer have any friends anymore. I have numerous health problems and issues with anxiety. i have had what i would call extreme anxiety for as long as i can remember. I would never speak much in school thus people must have assumed that i didnt like them when it was actually because of my extreme anxiety that I didn't talk much. I got made fun of alot in life and as a result i started thinking lesser of myself as a human being I went through a disease at 15 years old that horribly scarred my face and thus took away any looks that i might have had in this life. I would have liked to have had a family or wife some day but i know that i have already lost that part and i have no hope ever achieving that so decided not to care anymore about that. I am very lonely and sad indivdual and i know that i will remain this way until i die.
Never been laid and got addicted to pornography at an early age. I don't wish my life on any person who has ever existed or will ever exist after i am gone. I've been suicidal at many times in life but i realised that i was too much of a coward to do it. I live with my parents one of which is my mom who is bipolar she is a very difficult person but i still love my parents even though i feel as if they were never really much of actual parents to me at all.
I lost my older brother when i was 14 i believe i was very close with my brother and still miss him. He had mental problems and it is not known whether he took his own life but i don't believe he did. I know that he didnt deserve what he got in this life and i hope he is actually happy in the next life because he deserves it.
My mom is someone who is very sick mentally and needs help but I know she will never get help with her problem my dad's an alchoholic who hates his wife. Both my parents actually pretty much despise each other but they stayed together for religious reasons or out of obligations they felt from the children. As a child i almost wished that they would have divorced and maybe things would have gotten better but it never happened. I am pretty much a burden on my family I don't like to live this way but this is the state of my current life.
I try to have faith in God but i sometimes feel like i was not worth saving if my goal on this planet is to suffer more i sometimes even ask myself what is the point of all this? I realise that I screwed up terribly in life and failed God with all my sins.
I am thankful for one thing only and that is that I will one day perish and not have to be on this planet anymore. If i end up going to hell I guess my life will not be much different then the life I live already. I have read some of the stories on here and I can assure most people that mine is worse than yours u guys have a chance still u can make it. As for me I live day to day and i know that the only future is suffering for me.
Just wanted to share my story i guess sometimes in life when ur gone nobody will have even cared that u existed. i think about that sometimes and get pretty sad. Well i wish everybody the best of luck with all of their issues and sufferings that u endure in life because i know what it is to suffer. | |
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are you saying you are having a shit life all because you have a scarred face?
I think your real problem is your inferior complex and anxiety.
I was depressed 3 years ago. I lost my job. I had a midlife crisis. I felt I was running out of time. You have the one thing I didn't have. Youth. When you are young anything is possible. Failures are no issues. You can afford to keep trying.
Try to make changes in your life. You will see things differently.
GET A HOOKER AND FUCK HER U PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I risk my life all the time, i did it last march, rode down a steep hill on skis backwards, people above me on the ski lift were like " wtf is he doing? he'll kill himself!" i didn't give a shit, i had fun with my friends and they thought i was bad ass. I know i'll kill myself eventually but i don't give a shit!!!!!
With that sad, I'd just like to tell you that your life sucks dick, and the only way to make it stop, is by shooting yourself. Pull the trigger you fucking faggot pussy, pull it. NO ONE will care if you die. There isn't a 'God' up there, to 'save' you, and even if he's there he clearly fucking hates you, and you'll be burning in fucking hell. Just fucking die, like your retard brother. Your existence is obviously worthless. Girls don't like you, people don't like you, employers don't like you, luck doesn't like you, hell the fucking Universe doesn't like you. Pull the fucking trigger, just fucking do it.
Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
John 3:16 For God so LOVED the world, that he gave his only begotten Son (Jesus), that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
1Corinthians 15:3-4
3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ DIED for our sins according to the scriptures;
4 And that he was BURIED , and that he ROSE again the third day according to the scriptures:
Mark 1:15 The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: REPENT ye, and BELIEVE the gospel.
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