Okay, to start off, my life is not bad as some of these stories but i need to get this stuff off my chest.
Right, so i haven't done to badly for myself, when i wanted to buy something, i find the means to get the object i desire( motorbike,Flat,Clothes)-no problem.
My problem is that i so pathetically shy and unsociable, its really depressing, i can't talk to people when i'm sober which is annoying seems im a nice,genuine if slightly clumsy guy . i have to be drunk which then results in me making an ass of myself which in turn makes me feel self-conscience about my appearance making me more shy.The only time my confidence is good and im happy with myself is when i do cocaine but that in way means when im sober i would be like " i would talk to that bird,if i had some cocaine", a vicious cycle, plus cocaine habits if i recall are quite expensive and i' not a rich boy.
So, if you hadn't guessed already i am a VIRGIN at 21. WTF, i check on google and there are post saying "it's okay to be a virgin" "wait for your first time" what an absolute load of bullshit, have you ever worked in a kitchen or out with a group of lads and after 5 pints everyone starts talking about pussy, you have to sit there faking laughs and nodding your head like you actually know what these lads are talking about. FUCK.
My confidence is that bad that have been travelling australia now, and in a place in Cairns, there is a bar called the Woolshed- in the guide book for the country its says if you can't get laid here, you will never get laid, i was in that town for a month. Wow, awesome future ahead of me,i'm seriously considering just hiring a hooker this year and get it done with.
Even when situation arise out of sheer luck, i still don't take the initiative, i had 1 girl ask me to go home with her, i said no i got paper work to do, recently i meet a nice girl quite good looking, i fucking hate myself for it.
I keep trying to read confidence books and shit like that but it doesn't work.
I really am stuck, i don't know what to do.
For all the people out there who do have worse life stories out there, just think i at least had sex,had a connection with someone while on the other hand sit here typing this message, feeling incredibly depressed and lonely.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE,i guess | |
Duh!
2. Hint: Hookers love virgins. Make sure your hooker is friendly and polite.
I didn't have sex till I was 23 or so..I was at a friends party not expecting anything but a hangover..I was/still am just like you: anti-social, depressed, insecure..(btw in case you haven't noticed, EVERYONE is depressed.) Anyway, That's where I met the girl I would be with for 3 years..Point is, You'll find a lay. It'll happen when you least expect it..like when your about to blow your head off, or about to jump off a building because your just too sad to go on...that's when you'll find him/her whatever..Life's got a funny sense of humor that way.
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