I'm 25 years old. I'm a college graduate. I made As and Bs. I intended to be a counselor. It has been almost one year (July) since I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease. My immune system is attacking my brain. I am currently on medicine that hurts so bad to take. It leaves spots all over me. Every day I wake up and wiggle my toes just to make sure I still can. It's scary knowing you have a potentially debilitating disease that affects the most important things. My thinking, my legs, my arms, my sight, being able to swallow and breathe. I've had a relapse since my initial diagnosis. It wasn't my eyes like it had began with (optic neuritis) but it was my balance. I started getting vertigo and nausea. I've since recovered but I've been noticing patches on my foot that are numb. Not my whole foot... Just patches? This is so hard to talk about. My family and most of my friends are idiots and do not get it. They throw their sympathy at me like it's fucking confetti. I don't want it. I feel broken.
I use to cut myself so I have scars all over my body. I quit when I was a teenager. Now scars mean sobering much different to me. Since my diagnosis knowing that I have lesions (scars) on my brain and spinal cord makes me look at my arms and cringe. I'm full of scars. | |
New Comment