I am 20 years old and in college and I am depressed from loneliness. I've never been in a real relationship, haven't even had a real close friend. I'm just not interested in what most people are (in things like partying and going out). It's been a full 2 years of being depressed, I've been somewhat lonely for a while but with nothing changing after 2 years of college it is now depressing. I am a christian and i've had strong faith, but that faith is starting to slip away. I just don't understand why God would allow me to be so depressed for so long. Nobody would suspect that I'm depressed, and most people probably have no idea I'm miserably lonely. I'm a D1 athlete (football), i get great grades, in public i walk around with confidence all the time (and I actually am confident usually), I'm at least somewhat attractive (Girls actually do approach me from time to time).
I Get the feeling that facebook would solve this problem but I'm scared of having a facebook. I haven't talked to many girls in my life, and I really don't know how to talk to girls. I'm too scared to approach a girl and when they approach me i just don't know how to talk in a way of letting them know i'm interested in further conversation, (i'm not good at flirting). This is the reason I'm scared of facebook, it would reveal the fact that I don't talk to any girls and in my life (me being a fball player and what not) this would be extremely embarrassing and exposing.
It really hurts, I'd love to cry but i can't. having no girl in my life is one thing but Having no close friend either has resulted in me being depressed. I sit in my room with nothing to do, wishing i had someone, particularly One girl, but i don't even have 1 real friend. It's been like this for a while, and now it's starting to really hurt. I've never even kissed a girl...I'm to much of a bitch to approach a girl I like and even when they approach me like i said before i don't know how to talk. It's gotten to the point where It hurts just to see a couple holding hands, And i ask God why can't he just bring a hand into my life for me to hold. I'm not sure if I've done wrong in my life to cause it or if it's just the life he made for me. | |
What you need is a comfortable way of reaching out to people. Have you joined any clubs at your school? Join a cultural club, the ski club, a book club, any club. I joined the Filipino Club when I was in college and met over a dozen friends without even trying. Not Facebook make-believe friends, I'm talking real people. It's all a matter of getting yourself exposed to people where you are also comfortable and share something in common. Try it, it's not hard.
And don't try too hard to find that girlfriend. Just make friends. The girlfriend will come sooner or later when you least expect it. Have fun, good luck!
I honestly don't think Facebook is the answer to your problems, as it hurts interpersonal contact more than it helps. Don't let your faith slip away. Look around you, make new friends. I'm sure there is a shy girl somewhere who is already in love with you. You just need to find her.
Wheather you done any wrong in your life to cause it, if you did or not, only karma (if it's real) can answer that...
Wheather this is the life he (God) made for you.. Only HE (if he exist) can answer that...
Now, the question YOU could answer is.. What can I do, or changes I could make to improve myself?
No offense dude, but it sounds to me you're more worried about projecting the IMAGE you created for others, rather then allowing yourself to be free to be your REAL self.
Last time I checked, being your real self is being human and human are allowed to make mistake, difference is if you will learn from them. With that saying.. How will you know if having a facebook won't help you conquer your fears?
How will you know if practice flirting with girls on facebook will help you gain courage to flirt in real life?
How will you know some of your buddies will feel more safe going heart to heart online with you first, then later will be a real heart to heart friend in real life?
I don't know the answer to that, but I know that YOU also won't know unless you take a chance and try.. But I do see some chances in things blossuming.
Now the question I got for you is.. How will you know you can't improve yourself if you don't allow yourself to take that chance?
I can only imagine when you do walk into the eyes of god and asked this..
"It hurts just to see a couple holding hands, And i ask God why can't he just bring a hand into my life for me to hold."
If it's true what you said, God response to you will be..
"Why didn't you have to courage? Why didn't you see it? Why didn't you take that chance?.."
After all, you said this:
"I'm too scared to approach a girl and when they approach me i just don't know how to talk"
I see people post above me have some empathy, and I'm sure more below will come along with more great advice.
Goodluck! Hope your team do good this coming season. :)
Sincerely, anonymous loser from the westcoast.
I've got two movies for you to watch- the first one is called WAITING. The second one, is called, well you guessed it- WAITING 2 (the sequel)
Ok, once you've watched both of these movies back to back, let me know what you think?
As far as FACEBOOK is concerned, it's too evasive for me. It's an information gathering, marketing, machine. And it works. For people who want to LET EVERYONE KNOW THEIR BUSINESS- what they're wearing, what they're doing, who's got the most "FREINDS". I had people I didn't like in highschool trying to be-friend me. Well, I didn't like you back then, why do you think I'd like you now? Anyhow, kids love it. FACE BLOG. IT'S ALL ABOUT MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWITTER- MEEEEEE! LOOK AT MEEEeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Ok, got a little carried away there- but you get the point. You're probably the only 20yr old that I know, that doesn't have a face blog profile! That in itself speaks volumes for you!
Well, you can find a nice Catholic girl apparently on CHRISTIAN MINGLE dot com. I've never used it personally, but why do you need to go online, when you're at a perfectly decent college, and a football star? I don't know, the world is crazy these days..
I wish you luck my friend-
Go out there and knock em dead!(after you watch the movies)
Cursed
Your losing it...
Cursed
What you need is a comfortable way of reaching out to people. Have you joined any clubs at your school? Join a cultural club, the ski club, a book club, any club. I joined the Filipino Club when I was in college and met over a dozen friends without even trying. Not Facebook make-believe friends, I'm talking real people. It's all a matter of getting yourself exposed to people where you are also comfortable and share something in common. Try it, it's not hard.
And don't try too hard to find that girlfriend. Just make friends. The girlfriend will come sooner or later when you least expect it. Have fun, good luck!
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