I guess I hate my life too! Why are we all so unhappy people? They say be positive and make yourself happy, believe in it and make it happend. Sure!
Try, keep trying, try harder, an even harder, again and again... and then, for what? To start over. Why does money run the world? Why can't we just be happy?
If I compare myself to others that have lots, I feel like I have not much. If I compare myself to others that have less then I do, I tell myself, I'm not that bad my life could of been worse. But then, I realise what ever it is, I'm still not happy. One day I wake up, and thank god I have everything to survive. But then, some other days, I ask myself why is my life so miserable.
Today, religion, values, education and money runs tha world. Why did I marry a man from other culture, religion and diff values? To finish like this? Unrespected, that doesn't believe in me, careless what I think or what I wish for, that berly show sign of love or affection, that treat me like a dog. Why go through a controling man that manipulate me and put me down, put myself esteem down? All this to survive, make sure my two kids survive. I left many times but had to go back cuz never been able to last by myself with the cost of living and debts. Was this my life, my faith? Last time my husband was drunk he almost killed me. Never though I would have to go back to this miserable life to not lose my kid. All I want is my kids to be happy. Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice... I just hope god has another path for me. I give myself another 2 to 3 years to be able too live again once for all if I dont get killed before. I never though I would have my youngest son now 4 to defend me over my husband behavior. This is not was I was dreaming for my kids and myself. Every day I go through humiliation and get treated like I'm nothing. I dont have much left, either lots of friend. I can't berly go out of the house. We dont have a kitchen set and oven. My husband dont pretty much care. He just like hes them living rrom and big tv he purchase. I most of the time the maid of the house and remain in my room. I bring money in and pay most of the house expense and my debts wich I get yelled for. I never have a penny left for myself. And all I wish is to get out of here with my kids with my furniture and my car I purchase and I still pay that I never use and need to ask permission to borrow it. When I got married I though we would be happy living a dream. I was and am educated, pretty, sociable and honest person. I never though that would be my life. I wanted better for my kids then what I had. I am working hard to clear my debts, do some other courses and good work to try to move on eventualy cuz I still have hope... that god will put on my way the right person for me one day or the right path to me to fallow. I hope for my childreen sake. Hope, Hope, Hope. I will make it happen because I am strong. Good lock everyone keep faith. Humanity is so precious, shall be start believe in ourself, believe in it.