I used to be just fine. I feel like a real ass even writing on here. My parents never hit me. They're supportive and still together. I got my BA and graduated a few years ago. Junior high, high school and college were fine. Good student, not great (never had any motivation in anything), and had enough friends to see me through all the shit that life seems to pile so well. Then I left everyone and everything I loved behind and followed a girl I loved out to California after I graduated. She was nice: she gave it 3 months before she dumped me for no reason. I've been here 3 years and have already had 4 different jobs. I can't find what I want to do. I have no motivation now during my shitty job hunt. I got a DUI this past summer and so now I have no money for rent, and I"ll have to sell my car. I'm living with a girl I'm not crazy about and I think the feeling's mutual. I have no friends where I live and the few I've made out here are already on to other things. I don't sleep. I don't eat. The sex I rarely get seems to be getting worse and it wasn't that hot to begin with. I smoke more now than ever and, no shit, it just started raining when I have to take her fucking dog out.
I used to be fun. People used to like hanging out with me. I used to have enough money for rent and to scrape by, but now I have more debt than I've ever had and absolutely no way to pay it off. My brother and sister are in successful marriages with great people. They all have nice jobs and kids and houses and I can't even keep a car that's all paid off or make rent in the fucking ghetto. I'm starting to hate myself. Nothing keeps my attention anymore. No one seems interesting to me and I'm sure I'm no longer interesting to anyone, too. I don't like anything anymore. I used to be passionate about things, and now I don't give a shit about anything or anyone. I think I'm going to start giving more money to homeless panhandlers since it seems I'll be one of them soon. Too bad I don't believe in Karma. Too bad I didn't make anything of myself, I was told I had a lot of potential. | |
New Comment