i feel for all you guys and i know how you feel,
my dad is a selfish, cheating prick who just spends all our money and treats my mum, sister and i like crap. Yeh i know he worked for us but for the past few years he hasnt and just plays golf and cheats on my mum. My mother and i both know this but we can't tell him that we know he cheats because he will leave us and mum will get half the money which is very little. If cheating isnt enough he still wants to give my poor mum more trash. He treats her like a slave and also talks to her like she has done something wrong. He just wants to show who is boss. He has no respect what-so-ever. For example: at 3am the night before my english exam he decided to wake up and blast music. I asked him to turn it off but he said f*** off i can do what i want when i want. If you don't like it leave (which i actually considered but where would i go?). This is just one of the many occasions he has done this.
In my sport I have choked in every possible situation known to man, like seriously just once can I do something right! I am a good sportsman in my eyes but I can never prove to others what I am capable of. I just keep choking and choking. I practice so hard but luck never falls my way. Then my father decided to coach my team and I actually thought about ending my life because of it. Now around my sport club everyone hates him and I can't act as myself around there because i know everyone hates me because of my dad. One training session dad turned up and yelled to my coach. The coach went over and had a conversation with my dad. I had no idea what they were talking about then my dad told me to get in the car. My dad had told the coach that I wont be playing for the rest of the season as i had an 'injury' which was not true. I asked dad why he said that and he said, I quote, "so you can see that I have the power to f*** with your life."
I am a shy person. This never used to be the case but has just started in the past year or 2. Because of this I have lost all the friends I once had, and in your teens is when you lose or keep those friends. In my case I have lost all but 3, and they don't even go to my school! I used to go to a great school where i was so close to all the kids and I felt right at home but obviously because this was my life something bad had to happen right? Of course, that school closed down and now i attend a school with people i will never be friends with and I have drifted apart from all those I was close with.
This month has been horrible, safe to say the worst of my life!
Everything goes wrong, absolutely nothing has gone right. Even the little things like smashing my shin on something and knocking a glass over just builds up the anger inside me and i just want to yell out "What have I done wrong now! What did I do in my past life which deserves all this crap! Haven't I copped enough already?!?" But obviously God just gives me something else to cry about.
I always ask myself why I was put into this body out of the billions and billions of people who have ever lived. Why couldn't my soul have been put into that kid who has everything going for them? What are the chances of being put into the worst body out of the whole world.
It must be bad luck I guess.
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