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LIFE SUCKS : 2012 January

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    [Tell Your Story]  "The pit" (fresh stories)

    can't even kill myself

    Posted by depressed loser at January 30, 2012
    Tags: Health   2012 January

    It wasn't the same earlier.But after investing about five years in engineering, there's no hope of getting any result.Lost all money and confidence.Got depressed during college coz of my inability to study properly.Took antidepressants and slept 24X7 because of prozac.Quit cold turkey and got permanently impotent at twenty one.Add to that ssri induced rapid cycling bipolar disorder and panic attacks.All I can do is abuse god, then cry to show repentance, then sleep for two hours, then wake up and think of killing others in order to make 'something' out of my life and after making elaborate plans, forget them suddenly and again begin to cry.This happens in a single day.And the fucking cycle continues.I have fallen so ill that I can't even control my thoughts.It seems God has forsaken me and doesn't even want to give me one last chance.Can neither complete nor abandon my education.No scope of any job after working hard for so many years.Everyone looks at me with disgust.Juniors crack jokes over my uselessness.Got no friend obviously.No one wants to be known as 'friend of the loser'.My face has become thoroughly ugly.I have lost all appetite.Cannot go to my home as brothers and sisters are the biggest bastards in my life.They continually despise me.My parents think I shouldn't have been born(and so do I).I think I will become a drug addict in a couple of years.I don't even have the courage to kill myself.I fear I might get used to this treatment by others.wtf


    Comments: 19   Votes:


     

    y life sucks

    Posted by K d A at January 30, 2012
    Tags:   2012 January

    Life is a bitch - I took a paycut at my job - I have a husband who doesn't give a shit - stays home because he feels his salary is the greatest thing after sliced bread and it isnt even enough to pay ALL the bills. I have a 17 year old who just cares about the bitches who he lets control his life. They take him away from his work.


    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    Thinking about the future

    Posted by Michigan_guy79 at January 30, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   Failure   2012 January

    I came across this site online and im so glad to know that im not the only one it hates my life or life in general.

    Okay so why does my life suck here it goes:
    No Job
    No G/F
    No friends
    No house of my own.
    I have a learning disability it interfers with learning a job or going to school.

    Im 32yrs old now with no money and living in my parents basement lol. I dont see a
    future for myself. Everything I do seems to be complicated for me, and I always have the worst of luck usally.

    In my 29th year of my life, I started Having Anxiety attacks, in which I would get the dry heaves or puke when ever i felt nervous, i couldnt eat or leave my room
    until I got on some Meds, and im still on these meds, and i like having energy but i feel so tired all the time.

    If anyone can relate to me, leave a short msg.

    Sometimes I just think some people were born into the world to suffer until they
    die. I just hope Heaven is a better place then this, or else we are all screwed.


    Comments: 38   Votes:


     

    Ivy League Loser

    Posted by Waste at January 30, 2012
    Tags: 2012 January   Money   Unemployment

    I'm an Ivy League graduate who can't even get a job as a cashier. I have been unemployed for almost four years. My electricity was recently turned off. I don't have furniture in my home. Most weeks I do not know if I will be able to eat.

    I have no direction or skills. My friends and family are also broke and unsuccessful. There's not an individual I can turn to for assistance.

    I've let myself down and I don't know how to fix it. The "potential" that people said I had as a child has amounted to nothing.

    I'm angry, disgusted and hopeless.


    Comments: 14   Votes:


     

    Stuck in a depressing pit of arguments, anger and depression.

    Posted by Scotus at January 30, 2012
    Tags: Family   2012 January   Juvenile problems

    I'm 16 and despise many factors of my life.

    It all started around six months or so ago, when my mum began to complain that there was nothing for her as she pretty much lived in a football-dominated home. I felt the same- my dad and brother spend most if not all weekends as well as school nights doing something football related- if it's training, watching the team my brother plays in, watching the team they support, whatever. Things soon lead to the first of many arguments and my mum would go and sleep at my Nan's house.
    Soon after she'd cooled down and regretted acting how she did- but then my dad decided there was nothing for him either...! He felt angry how he always had to apologise after an argument so refused to do so any more.

    My study leave then started- beginning as two pleasant sort of weeks where I could revise and play video games as well as have a friend round. Then, my mum finished work for the summer; every day she'd be crying, looking to talk to me since she was upset and hurt that dad did not want to forgive her.
    Weeks of this passed and eventually, dad said they could sort things out. In the mean time, he had got back in contact with a woman with whom he used to work with, who (apparently) had breast cancer. She was recently divorced and her 15 and 17 year old children were at her ex-husbands' home.Supposedly lonely and suffering from 'panic attacks', my dad obviously pitied her and had offered to stay at her home for one night....

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    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    Just read

    Posted by Stuck in this shit at January 29, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   2012 January

    Hey,dear fellows in misery.

    First of all,I know there's a lot worse.I have read some stories and some of them made my cry in my heart,and at least I know there's worse and there are so many of us.

    Whatever.I'm 20 and live with my parents.I hate my life because it fucking sucks.
    I am an ugly fucker.I hate my face and I hate my body.I am short,have mantits,zits,a prehistoric face.My voice is too high and I find myself fucking unattractive.I have never had a reason to like myself,I avoid being photographed and going outside is fucking hell for me because I feel so inferior to everybody.I have social anxiety disorder and depression and maybe some other problems.I've never been happy in my life,and I am afraid of crowds because I think people could see my disfigurements from little distance.That's why I feel useless and have no self-esteem.

    I feel like I have never achieved anything in my life,I am socially incompatible,whenever I see those people in the bus chattering and laughing,I ask myself why I cannot be like them.I used to like human beings,but I think I am on the perfect way to hating them.I don't want to hate them,but I have never had a reason to like other people.My parents and my best friend are the only people I can talk with about these things,and my parents think I am an idiot and they tell me I should stop being so depressed.I don't want to stress my parents because I know it hurts them.

    I actually think that people are ve...

    Read Entire Entry >>>

    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    My life sucks

    Posted by AlyB at January 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 January   Juvenile problems

    My life sucks...im just using this so i can offload how really feel.. Im not really allowed to talk about being adopted because it upsets my parents.. I walk around feeling like Im going to explode!

    You never know what you have until its gone. I was in foster care till the age of one, because my mum didnt think she could look after me properly, seeing as my mum and dad were quite young, also my dad has severe mental problems, so im quite fortunate that im not like that, if you get me. I was then adopted into a large family, and then when i was ten, my mum drowned herself, and the hospital couldnt bring her back to life. And my dad has mental problems and dosent even know i excist. Knowing that now has changed my life, I try and disguise how i feel by changing the way i act. So i seem quite loud and crazy but under all of that i feel as if im going to have a nervous break down, i now go to a secondary school, have good friends, and sometimes i find school quite hard, but its an easy way of getting my mind off of my home enviroment, I have two brothers and two older sisters, not bilogical.. as im growing up i find out more and more about my background, and it hits hard sometimes...I sometimes get bullied about my colour, which is pretty hard to handle beacause discriminating someone about there coulour i think is disgraceful, we are all the same, blood, bones and souls, black and white now have equal rights so its wrong to dis someone about the colour of there skin!..

    You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back...Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of my mum.. and every song I heard somehow related to her. reminds me of the one thing I dont have...i will do the best in life for her..shes still with me in my heart..god bless...love her forever & always.♥♥


    Comments: 4   Votes:


     

    The worst summer of my life. Disease and a cheating girlfriend.

    Posted by Timothy at January 29, 2012
    Tags: Bad Luck   2012 January   Relationship

    I'm seventeen and I saved all my money to go to visit my family in Kenya (We are of European decent but I just happened to be born there). I arrived and after two days I found myself violently throwing up. This continued and I ended up in hospital for a month, in this awful Kenyan hospital with little to no care. Furthermore I lost all my deposits on accommodation, tours, and tourist activities . Before I knew it I had to get on a plane and get back, having experienced NOTHING and having used ALL of my money. I arrived back, excited to see my girlfriend, but the next day she went on holiday with my best friend (and our mutual friends). She fucked him in front of all my friends, and none of them told me. After about a month I worked it out, and relised that I had been interacting with all these people without knowing anything as if nothing was wrong. Meanwhile the random Kenyan disease I got means I can no longer do physical activities, and I am a competitive runner and tennis player. I've now put on too much weight and look disgusting, I lost my best friend, my girlfriend, all my money, all of our mutual friends, and I can never play my sport (which is my life) again. I spend my time sitting in a dark room, and every 3 days for the next 6 months I have to attend a gastrologist appointment (which is a fancy way of saying I get to have metal shoved up my anus).

    To be honest, I can't complain about my life until now. I have had a good successful life, and am from a kkind family. But now, In the space of one summer, I have gone from everything to a depressed mess


    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    I can't do this much longer

    Posted by Danny at January 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 January   Loneliness

    Sometimes, I feel so lonely that I actually feel nauseous. It honestly feels like I have been living the same day over and over and nothing in my life will ever feel complete. I keep setting goals for myself that I never reach and I am beginning to think I will be alone for the rest of my life. I have never had a serious relationship because I am too scared of telling my friends and family that I am gay. They just wouldn't understand that it is not a choice and I am positive I would become the family joke if I ever tell anyone, or they just wouldn't accept me. Until recently, I did not think that I would be willing to risk losing my family and friends for my own happiness but these intense feelings of isolation have changed my mind. I am surrounded by happy people with others to love them as much as they love their gf/bf. I think I love someone who could never love me back the same. Honestly, I would never deliberately do anything to harm myself, but I am so lonely, unhappy, and trapped in the body of someone I am not that I am considering dropping out of university, quitting my shitty job, buying a one-way ticket in another country, and pursuing my journey on the trail to happiness and love, but I know I will never have the courage to do such a thing. Cloudy skies ahead.


    Comments: 4   Votes:


     

    pathetic hermit.

    Posted by anonymous at January 29, 2012
    Tags: 2012 January   Loneliness   Sociopathy

    I'm just going to be brief about this. I recieved a decent education and made friends but now they're all dead, addicted or have moved overseas. I have absolutely nobody in the whole world. I have lost all money. I am antisocial and basicly a hermit. I've had uncountable unsuccessful job applications, I gave up 4 years ago, I'm currently 33 years old. I don't have a home, I live outside of the towns in a sort of cave where I grow my own food which I barely get by on as well as trapping rabbits. I use this library computer terminal every now and then but most of my life now is devoted to merely sustaining myself. I can't get a job and all my education has gone to waste. I haven't been able to properly interact with people in years. I think if I got a gun I'd probably kill myself but of course I don't have one. All I can do is pray a rock will fall on me and it'll all be over.


    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    untitled story

    Posted by anonymous at January 29, 2012
    Static LinkTags: 2012 January   Loneliness

    I'm 17, I have OCD, I used to have friends and girlfriends but in the last year or two that's changed. My first love left and I'll never see her again. My large group of friends all left between year 8 and 10 at school. I had around a dozen close mates I used to hang around with, but now I have absolutely nobody in or out of school they all hate me. I epitomise the loner at school I'm so damn lonely the only way I get by is to hide away from society. My niece left and I'm too shamed to explain why. I really struggle with my education, nobody helps me, I do distance education which demands every second of my time and is causing me really bad sleep problems. I only get average grades and get absolutely no recognition for my efforts, just more hate. I've developed serious antisocial misanthropic tendencies and it doesn't look like I'll ever have a social life again.


    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    I am not happy about my life, but dont have a way to get out it yet..

    Posted by anonymous at January 28, 2012
    Tags: 2012 January   Relationship

    Sometimes, I feel life is great as every second is my chance to get my life improve, work , social, relationship etc..., but another time, I feel so depressed.
    I feel I am being undervalued by my current employer though I am doing a great job. apart from paid, everything else seems to be still fine for me. But the company i worked for is a small type, so no promotion things really , in terms of position but I don't mind. However, I do mind about the paid, I have been working there for 2 and half years ( since all my friends, similar experiences and education background got promotion & paid too) what do I got , not much. :( . every time I am thinking about that, I feel so depressed. Life is suck!!! I do try a few new job interview, but failed. sad again!!!!

    I don't feel happy about my social life though I have some friend around,I i never feel lonelier than now, as I never feel comfortable about bringing my other half to do outing with them - 1. is because me and my other half came from difficult background cultures, all my friends are the same background like me. we normally meet up in the restaurant having nice meal & chatting chatting. 2. my other half does not eat most of the food I am eating with my friends which will be appeared a bit rude if he came with me and didn't eat. 3.though we are not going out together with friends, but sometimes we do go out with his friends, however, due to different cultural background, I tried but I don't feel I have con...

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    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

    i wonder if i'll always feel this way.

    Posted by wings at January 28, 2012
    Tags: 2012 January   Relationship

    Iíve been searching for 'the one' since i was 15- over half my life now. And there have been plenty of almost ones- but something always break. My mother despairs at my low self-esteem, in her words (as only a mother could love me) - 'Iím beautiful, well educated, independent, successful and kind'- and yet- Iím alone. other words of wisdom from my mother- is that 'you'll be treated precisely how you allow yourself to be treated' - and possibly thatís my problem, because despite the masterís degree, an accumulation of assets (house, car and such), being tall and leggy- easy on the eyes- i cannot help myself but attract the most unloving men, that essentially treat me like dirt, then leave (or more often cheat and leave).

    Iím recently married- and recently divorced. 3 years ago- i thought that had changed- i met someone that i could trust- he was stable and level headed, and as he always told me- good for me. he was charming at first, but became entirely detached once he had me, and as things would have it, this just made me more emotionally dependent on him- dying for any scrap of his attention that he would deign to throw my way (in between the 7 hours daily of PC gaming, and pot smoking). You would think this realization is what led to the divorce... sadly no. he stayed home- and lived in my house- while i worked (very hard) in a number of countries across Africa. He started to act stranger and more distant each time i returned from a business trip- about 6 mon...

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    Comments: 8   Votes:


     

    Lonely

    Posted by adam at January 28, 2012
    Tags: 2012 January   Loneliness

    Every morning I wake up and the reality is worse than the dream. I dread facing the world, but ultimately get up. I go thru the motions throughout the day. Often times, I cry constantly or viciously punch myself in the face in a bathroom. I feel miserable, because I've never been able to find a girl who i can say loves me. I try so hard to meet people, but it always fails. No matter what. i don't know whats wrong with me. They always just stop liking me whether its right away or over time. Every time i've liked someone they've turned away from me. I feel so lonely. I cant stop crying and hating myself. I get led on, and then cancelled on or ignored all the time. It fucking kills me. I cant stand living. I sleep with a butcher's knife next to my bed some nights bc i want to give myself an option. I think about how i want to kill myself all the time. I dont have the guts to go through with it bc i keep hoping things may change. but they never do. every time i have some sort of hope, it goes away because people decide im not worth knowing. they just start ignoring me. for no reason. i dont get it. i feel so cursed but realize its probably just me, i am not likable. If its been 26 years and it keeps happening i dont know why things would change. every step of my life i pray that it may change, but without fail no matter where i go or what i do i am alone and rejected and made to feel worthless. i hate life and myself. Every time i've felt something for a girl, she has not wanted a relationship and tries to say its bc she just got out of one. it cant be that. i know its me. im not worth loving or caring about.


    Comments: 4   Votes:


     

    I hate my life

    Posted by Lia at January 28, 2012
    Tags: 2012 January   Loneliness

    I hate my life i have no friends and no family all have passed away the only thing i have in my life is my job thats it to keep me from going under,my husband left me after 8 years of marriage because his mom never approved of me im at the end sometimes i start crying on the metro or bus i feel like there is nothing left for me no one who will love me or take care of me i really don't know what to do with myself...


    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

    untitled story

    Posted by anonymous at January 28, 2012
    Static LinkTags: Attitude   2012 January

    I'm just fucking sad and pathetic...I love people that can't or won't give back that love in the same manner. I feel a huge whole in my heart growing larger and I've started drinking...to much too often.
    I don't want to talk to my "friends" because it's just sad; I don't want to talk to women because they think it's pathetic; I won't talk to a "shrink" because it would be a career ender for me.
    Some times I feel like ending it all but I have a son, he would lose all respect for his "hero" as he says he see's me.
    I was told by a friend that I should just act like I don't give a shit about women but in fact I do and find it difficult to hide that. I don't know why...

    Yes, I know this is sad and pathetic...I just don't know how to deal with it!


    Comments: 10   Votes:


     

    I cant seem to get the point across

    Posted by anonymous at January 28, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   2012 January

    I am 24 years old... still in community college and so confused about what direction i am headed. I want to be an anesthesiologist but i am not smart enough. School is horrible for me! I never understand a damn thing that they are saying and i always end up getting horrible grades. Everyone thinks that i am such a good student but its all bullshit that i make up to keep them from asking too many questions. Although i love my family and have the best boyfriend in the world... sometimes i just want to die! I have to commute from where i live to where i go to school everyday! and its an hour drive! When i'm not driving or sitting in a classroom with a blank stare i am working... a meaningless job where the people who work there are as annoying as the actual job. i never have a day off and most nights i cant even sleep; no matter how tired i am. I hate all this pressure... im scared of all this pressure... I hate facebook bc i hate seeing all these people whom i went to high school with... their perfect lifes and successfull carees... i love to put more salt in that wound... i have tried cutting but the pain does nothing for me.... have i mentioned that i am fat and ugly??? i believe that if i didnt have my family and my love that i would drive my prius head on to an eighteen wheeler on one of my hour long drives and just end it.... i hate crying myself to bed every other night; when i can sleep of course... i will never be what i and everyone else wants me to be...everyone knows that i am not okay but everyone tries to stay positve and reasure me that everything will be great! oh how i pray to god every night to take my from here and let me go in peace. thank you for letting me bitch!


    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

    Venting

    Posted by nightman at January 28, 2012
    Tags: 2012 January   Job   Mistakes

    I am feeling down about many issues and looked for some place mostly to vent when I found this site. I am 56, smart enough to earn two degrees, but dumb enough not to choose a practical skill. My BA in journalism might have been usable if I'd pursued it, but my MFA is in English. Short of teaching, I'm qualified for almost nothing. My giving a resume may seem showy, but I started this way because a huge part of my depression comes from being middle aged and able to have accomplished so much, but succeeding at nothing.

    I married later in life in my 40s. I truly love my wife, but I blame her for a lot too, though I never talk about it to her. She loves kids and babysits four days a week for next to nothing. That leaves it up to me to earn enough to support us. In this economy that is almost impossible on one income. I've worked two jobs for five years. My part time job just laid me off, and it is difficult to find another part time job that can fill the needed hours and keep my full time job happy. My wife has been diagnosed with divertiulosis. It took me until five years ago to find a job offering health benefits, but the insurance covers one CT scan a year. We're going hand-over-fist into medical debt.

    I write (the MFA thing above), but I lack the ambition and knowledge to market my writing, so it is little more than a hobby. Then, it's hard to get the gumption to write when I know that I need to turn my actions into money. I do almost not...

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    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    Fuck SCAF

    Posted by Egyptian Revolutionary at January 28, 2012
    Tags: 2012 January   Society

    the thing is that . i am from the ones who made the played a role in the egyptian revolution until the the stepping off of Hosney Mubark then the SCAF took the lead
    and said we will give the power to a president after 6 months after those months nothing happened i pretested again and i was hit in my chest and leg by a bullets and when i was at the hospital the SCAF tied me to the bed and i was trailed by the military (i'm not a soldier) with 15 years of jail then the SCAF told that they will let us go but didn't so then i was released then after 6 months of jail and now i'm protesting against them until they step down one word to the president of the SCAF Hussein Tantawy that is fuck you


    Comments: 4   Votes:


     

    The world would be a better place without me

    Posted by kuromi at January 28, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   2012 January   Juvenile problems

    I'm a 20 year old university student. The place there is horrible. Everyone is hypocrite. I have no real friends. I have no one to talk to. It is so competitive and my grades are terrible. Those people there are extremely clever and they do not like to speak to stupid people like me. My closer friends are drifting away. They have found new capable friends who can help them in their work. I'm always left out in conversations. I hardly have the opportunity to speak in groups because they keep disrupting each other before one can finish a sentence. One girl even hinted that I should leave the group.

    I was from a not-so-good college, so when I managed to score a set of good results, I entered the university. But everyone else there are from elite schools. That's why I lag behind so much.

    I feel like I find no value in life. My parents treat our dog better than me. They even tell me straight that they hated me. They feed her human food and I was upset because it is unhealthy. Then they yelled at me for treating her so badly. They even threatened to give her away but that was not my intention. Once, she bit me for carrying her, and my parents blamed me for it and said that I deserved it.

    Perhaps the world would be a better place without me. I'm useless and causes inconvenience to others.


    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

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