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I just want it to end

Posted by anonymous at April 27, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Attitude

My life:†

Is life worth living if u wake up every day and wish u didn't wake up any more.†
Is life worth living if u don't want to live this life anymore.†
Is life worth living if u don't want to feel this pain and sadness anymore.†
If life worth living if u feel depressed every day for the last 3 years and I'm only 22
I don't want to live this life any more but there's no way out and I wake up every day and wish I didn't wake up and it make me sad that I'm still alive, wen I dont want to live. Why do I have to feel like this for? Why me god? Why me? I cried so much that now wen I cry there ant no emotion. Life's hard but what's harder is to live this life and why do I have to wake up everyday in this life. I don't wish I woke up and everything was a dream, I wish I Neva wake up again. It's sad for me to think like this and feel like this but u can't help the way u feel or think. I hate that I think to my self too much and I just want my brain to stop fucking thinking for one minuet. If it wasn't for my mum this life would of ended time ago.†


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Comments:
By anonymous at 27,Apr,12 01:03

I feel your pain in a similar way, I am suicidal in the manner of not wanting to cope with my weak and pathetic life anymore, I really don't want to die though. The last time I really thought of ending it I had the gun loaded in my hand and ready to end it; but then I started to think of other ways of doing it and that told me that I really didn't want to die I just didn't know how to live the way I wanted to; so I quit thinking of ways to end it, but Im still feeling hopeless and lost. I still don't know how to live or feel better and that was about a month ago. I am also similar in that my parents are probably the only thing keeping me going. I get so tired of everything and bored with stuff that used to entertain me. I even wonder if I ever enjoyed the stuff I used to do. As for your situation, I have no idea how to help you(wish I could), other than to tell you that you are really not alone. I've been locked up twice for suicide talk(although I was drunk out of my mind both times and facing legal problems) and there were people from all walks of life in there both times. I mean there were some crazies(in my opinion), some depressed, and some with drug issues. Some of these people were beautiful looking and some not so much(not that im judging); some wealthy and some poor. I guess what I'm trying to say is that anyone can feel the way we do. All I can do is pray for you(even though I don't know if it will work, as I kind of gave up on it, but I will for you), but it does help me to know that even strangers do care for others. So good luck and I hope you feel alot better real soon.
By Cursed at 27,Apr,12 13:47

A very nice comment, couldn't have put it better myself. Good job- and yes, there are strangers that care and can relate.


By anonymous at 27,Apr,12 03:02

Life is probably just supposed to be shitty. Try to get tougher. Start throwing away the shit that doesn't make sense anymore. Forget. Start anew.


By at 27,Apr,12 14:48

yes i was just the same.I am 58 now and I must admit I was unhappy all my young life then it just seemed to carry on into the rest of my life.I hoped I woulnt wake up.The doc was no good at all ...he laughed..but tat was 30 years ago and now the doc would help you.I had a marriage and two wonderful sons so I am glad I didnt commit suicide after all.It is depression and doesn't always go off on its own.I went on antidepressants in 1992 and was feeling better after a couple of weeks. After 4 weeks I changed everything about my life because my brain began to function.It was like coming out of a tunnel!I hope this helps.xx


By anonymous at 27,Apr,12 20:08

just don't think. Problem solved.


By anonymous at 27,Apr,12 21:58

talk to counsellor... stop thinking start working
By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 05:04

Good idea, dumbass
By listener at 07,May,12 15:06 Fold Up

VERY good idea


By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 04:31

There was a time when I didn't want to wake up too. Just wanted to go back to sleep. Then I got headaches from sleeping too much. Terrible. Lived everyday looking forward to the time when I could go to bed. But then, can't sleep because of how sad I was feeling. And then tired all day.

The most important thing is to make friends and find something that you want to achieve that day. Friends make all the difference.


By at 28,Apr,12 05:23

Sup, mate? You're a self-absorbed faggot it sounds like. Do you cry all the time that you start to run out of body fluids? So pathetic. I say, smoke a bowl, and for fuck's sake cut the shit you fucken wanker you gotta get of your ass and do something!! Or will you just cry like a hungry ethiopian baby for the rest of your life? Think about it you impotent fagtard!


By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 11:53

Join the military, get off your ass, you are young.


By anonymous at 29,Apr,12 16:06

Wat makes you so sad try to find out!


By anonymous at 30,Apr,12 23:32

Here's the kicker. All of your thoughts are audible. Think whatever the fuck you want and see how the world reacts it's kind of fun. I enjoy thinking of sexually deviant things it really gets the crowd vibrating in a weird way. Think of things like having sex with your family and animals that will piss em right off!


By listener at 07,May,12 20:08

dont just try to wash away the pain with tears
youll only end up drowning yourself
just get someone to talk to and tell your feelings to
it really helps


By anonymous at 29,Nov,12 09:46

Part 1)Just because someone is sad or depresses does not give you the right to insult them and call them lazy. What do you know about their pain and life experiences? Unless you have walked in another personís shoes then donít judge them.
I know exactly what it is like to want to die struggle to go on living as I have been doing this most of my life. Every day I try to move forward but I never seem to get any ware. Every time I think I am starting to get ahead someone just comes along and kicks me back down. I have hit the point that I just canít seem to get myself out of the rut I am in; I keep trying to improve my situation but nothing works. I feel that my life is nothing more than a painful existence and the whole world hates me. Every night when I go to bed I pray that I never wake up. Unless you have been through what I have been through, you cannot imagine my pain.
Throughout my child hood right into adult hood I was constantly beaten and or humiliated by both my parents. When I was very young my parents moved to another country and I was constantly teased and bullied because had an accent and I couldnít fight back because I was small. When I got home from school I often got beatings. If my father wasnít there my mother would punch me to the ground then kick me. Then when my father got home I was beaten again with a belt following this I was sent to my bed for a week. If I said anything I was given another week in bed. It didnít matter what the temp, was even if it was stinking hot I was forced to go to my bed for a week. I have two older siblings and they were also punished like this.


By anonymous at 29,Nov,12 09:47

Part 2) We werenít bad children; our parents just punished us for any misdemeanour. If you accidently dropped a glass, you got a belting. If you couldnít finish your dinner, you got a belting. If you got mum a present she didnít like, you got a belting. One day when I was about 6 years old I left my coat at school and when I got home my mother was there, when she realised I had forgotten my coat she pushed me to the ground and then proceeded to kick into me. I peed my pants and she made me go straight back to school (in my wet pants) and get the coat. When my father got home I was given the strap.
Sometimes we would come home from school and find our mother with her head in a gas oven trying to kill herself. On other occasions we fund her with her wrists slit or trying to overdose on medication. One night she took my sister and I into bed with her, then she took an overdose so that we could watch her die. We got our father and he made us stick our fingers down her throat to make her vomit the pills up.
My mother was allegedly home sick and wanted to return home to her birth land, but my father did not want to go so they had lots of fights and the fights could get violent, of course my siblings and I were made to get out of our beds and forced to take sides. My mother also played one child of against the other and spread many lies to cause trouble.


By anonymous at 29,Nov,12 09:48

Part 3) When I became a teenager and went out, my mother would wait for me to get home then belt me and accuse me of sleeping around. I would go to my room and she would wait for me to fall asleep then jump on me, punch me, rip my hair out and call my vile names. She also flirted with my boyfriendís and tried to humiliate me in front of them as well as other visitors. Consequently I never got close to anyone.
From the age of 13 I had to work and pay rent, I also bought my own clothes. If I had a friend over for dinner she made me pay for their meal and she would always start a fight, so I stopped inviting people around. When her friends came up she would insult me and encourage them to join in.
I was not allowed to finish high school as my mother wanted me to get a job and pay more rent. Later paid for my own education and completed high school then went to university, but I was sexually assaulted and when I tried to get justice my mother slandered me and had me put into a mental hospital where I was physically and sexually abused by the staff. I had to fight to get out of there and I did. Then I got another job but my self-esteem was so low that I ended up being bullied and injured. I couldnít work and had to fight for justice, however I the courts didnít think I was worth much so in each I was awarded minimal compensation for the abuse I endured.


By anonymous at 29,Nov,12 09:49

Part 4) I have tried to pick up the pieces and move on but I just keep getting kicked down. I get jobs but quit when people start bullying me. Recently I had to take get a restraining order on someone purposefully damaged my old car then every panel in my mew car. I have never married or had children and I canít seem to make friends. I donít own a home and probably never will as they are too expensive. In all honesty I donít have a life; just a painful existence and I want to end it all. Quite frankly I donít care if you think I am a weakling, because I have spent my entire life trying to do the right thing but people just keep kicking me down. I am just too tired to care anymore.

THE END.


By anonymous at 24,Feb,13 12:00

I'm 13. For the past year and a half I've been so lost. For the last six months I've been thinking about suicide. Tomorrow I'm gonna jump. Kill myself. I don't love my family, they just don't understand. The only thing that kept me alive I lost. My bestfriend. I love her more than anything, I'd die for her, she saved my life. My life holds no meaning without her. And now we're not talking. There's nothing I won't do to see her one more time. To spend one more day with her. I miss her everyday so much. I can't go on living without her. It's time for me to go. If I don't have her there's absolutely nothing to live for.


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