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The most important thing is to make friends and find something that you want to achieve that day. Friends make all the difference.
youll only end up drowning yourself
just get someone to talk to and tell your feelings to
it really helps
I know exactly what it is like to want to die struggle to go on living as I have been doing this most of my life. Every day I try to move forward but I never seem to get any ware. Every time I think I am starting to get ahead someone just comes along and kicks me back down. I have hit the point that I just can’t seem to get myself out of the rut I am in; I keep trying to improve my situation but nothing works. I feel that my life is nothing more than a painful existence and the whole world hates me. Every night when I go to bed I pray that I never wake up. Unless you have been through what I have been through, you cannot imagine my pain.
Throughout my child hood right into adult hood I was constantly beaten and or humiliated by both my parents. When I was very young my parents moved to another country and I was constantly teased and bullied because had an accent and I couldn’t fight back because I was small. When I got home from school I often got beatings. If my father wasn’t there my mother would punch me to the ground then kick me. Then when my father got home I was beaten again with a belt following this I was sent to my bed for a week. If I said anything I was given another week in bed. It didn’t matter what the temp, was even if it was stinking hot I was forced to go to my bed for a week. I have two older siblings and they were also punished like this.
Sometimes we would come home from school and find our mother with her head in a gas oven trying to kill herself. On other occasions we fund her with her wrists slit or trying to overdose on medication. One night she took my sister and I into bed with her, then she took an overdose so that we could watch her die. We got our father and he made us stick our fingers down her throat to make her vomit the pills up.
My mother was allegedly home sick and wanted to return home to her birth land, but my father did not want to go so they had lots of fights and the fights could get violent, of course my siblings and I were made to get out of our beds and forced to take sides. My mother also played one child of against the other and spread many lies to cause trouble.
From the age of 13 I had to work and pay rent, I also bought my own clothes. If I had a friend over for dinner she made me pay for their meal and she would always start a fight, so I stopped inviting people around. When her friends came up she would insult me and encourage them to join in.
I was not allowed to finish high school as my mother wanted me to get a job and pay more rent. Later paid for my own education and completed high school then went to university, but I was sexually assaulted and when I tried to get justice my mother slandered me and had me put into a mental hospital where I was physically and sexually abused by the staff. I had to fight to get out of there and I did. Then I got another job but my self-esteem was so low that I ended up being bullied and injured. I couldn’t work and had to fight for justice, however I the courts didn’t think I was worth much so in each I was awarded minimal compensation for the abuse I endured.
THE END.
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