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I am so lonely it hurts

Posted by anonymous66 at April 22, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Loneliness

for 12 years, I have not had a relationship. I am so lonely, it is killing me. I cry so many nights and try to hang on. I have a good job that I actually like. I have friends. I travel and spend my free time with activities that I like doing. But I am not loved - loved as a woman should be loved. And would give it all just to have love in my life. I need a man to hold on to and give me the intimacy I crave. I am just so lonely and cannot find someone who remotely would consider being with me. I feel like I am not worth having someone in my life and it is hurting me so much. I feel like I don't deserve being loved. And this sucks...... I am sick and tired of crying. And don't know what to do anymore.


Similar Entries:
Lonely March 4, 2012
My will to live is fading.. July 9, 2012
Heartbroken April 16, 2012
Loneliness May 28, 2012
untitled story October 16, 2011

New Comment

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 19:45

go fuck a homeless off the street
By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 23:17

Go fuck yourself:)
By anonymous at 23,Apr,12 10:27

proves what self righteous whore you are. no wonder you're lonely.

i hope u die lonely bearing no mans seed since u are a rotten person anyway.
By anonymous at 22,Mar,13 23:38

Fuck you. You are not worth the time it took me to read your horse shit.
By anonymous at 17,Jan,15 16:55 Fold Up

If you lived around here I'd kick your ass.
By anonymous at 23,Apr,12 23:44 Fold Up

requires great flexibility & athleticism
By anonymous at 07,Oct,12 17:12 Fold Up

Evil person
By anonymous at 07,Oct,12 17:12 Fold Up

You are soo mean,

By anonymous at 23,Apr,12 08:36

You're probably a fucking cunt who had everything handed to her and you don't think any man is good enough for you. I wish I had your problems sweat heart. So do most people who have real problems.
By anonymous at 14,Jan,13 13:24

and why is not having love a real problem you could have everything and without love life is empty. no one ever says on their death bed i wish i'd spent more time with my money. you know what honey forget these trolls and know that until you are happy with yourself it will be hard for a man to see you truly and fall in love. they can sense our anxiety and fear and it makes them run. play hard to get pretend like he's not the one. theyre probably just lying anyways. pets help as well

By anonymous at 29,Apr,12 00:54

First of all, to everyone who has just posted a negative comment: I cannot believe that so many people on this forum would be SO unbelievably unfeeling and AWFUL to someone who is obviously in pain. WHERE THE F*CK IS YOUR EMPATHY, YOU BUNCH OF NEANDERTHALS?????????????????????? What cave did you come out of? Just because you're all miserable, doesn't mean you have to make someone else MORE miserable. I am ashamed that there are people like you in this world. Some of the people who posted those comments should be in prison.

To Anonymous 66, I feel your pain and I swear that if you have a job you like, lots of friends, travel a lot and get involved (which you say you do), you will eventually meet someone who loves you how you deserve to be loved. I sincerely believe that, even if you don't at this point :)
By anonymous at 29,Oct,12 11:19

it's very easy for someone to leave smart comments, I just hope that those same people never fall from grace and are in need of help such as this person
By anonymous at 07,Nov,12 02:27 Fold Up

about time someone spoke out against them it gladdens me that not all are rotten to the core.
By anonymous at 14,Jan,13 13:26

yeah don't let a bunchof eleventeen year old troglydites get ya down they're just mad cause they haven't finished puberty quite yet

By anonymous at 04,Oct,12 03:11

I feel for you I truly do. As I type this message I am trying to cry myself to sleep if that makes any sense . You said you haven't been in a relationship in 12 months.... It could be worse. I've NEVER been in a real fucking relationship or more importantly in love. I'm 27 years old and the longest relationship I've ever been in was about 5 months. I wanted to love her but I couldn't bring myself to because of the lies. She was a recovering heroin addict who ended up relapsing probably 1 month after we started going out. Surprising, I'm not a Heroin junkie which you're probably thinking to yourself . I was just so desperate for companionship that I would have tried to make anything work. ... Well we broke up because she pawned my mothers jewelry with my car, which I didn't let her borrow by the way, to buy dope with..... That was years ago but I'm still trying to pick up pieces of my... you know.. God i know this sounds so pathetic but i dont have anyone to tell and im too proud to go to a shrink. Now I lay here in bed alone again from what seems like an eternity. ... I actually just came from the girl of my dreams house. I am in love with her . It has to be love....what sucks is I know she doesn't love me back ... More then a friend anyway which I think is sometimes worse then being friends at all. She's taking time off from her boyfriend because he liked the booze a little too much. Her "boyfriend" or whatever the fuck you want to call him is actually one of my good friends. ........ The reason I feel so strongly for this girl is because we hooked up recently .... Okay I said it and I know it was a dick move but tequila will do some wonders on a Friday night. But I don't think she likes me more then a friend just a one night thing... God do I want it to be more than that... I urrn for it.. She's beautiful , smart , sexy , such a good sense of humor and personality , she has goals in life , she was brought up with morales and respect for herself. She's a little bit religious which I like .. Call me old school. Not like a Jesus freak religious but you know ... The part that kills me and I DON'T KNOW WHY IM DOING THIS ... But I'm trying to talk her into getting back with her ex boyfriend which is my friend too ... I've known the both of them for over 5 years .....maybe I just know she would never want to be with me like that so I push her away?!?!? Or maybe because I have a wicked fear of rejection ... Well to all the people that googled "I'm so lonely " and actually took the time to read this rant .. I say to you I wish you the best and try your best to take it one day at a time . For me I've never felt so lost , empty, and alone in all my life . And I've been alone damn near ALL my life!! Pray for me. I will pray for all You's tonight
By anonymous at 25,Oct,12 07:30

By anonymous at 27,Oct,12 18:26 Fold Up

Hi. I feel your pain. I am 57yr old female, married for 25 yrs with 2 sons. Several yrs ago I became very ill and my husband decided that cheating on me instesd of helping me was the answer. He walked out, took my youngest son with him, brainwashed him into believing that I was not sick, but was just lazy and now he has not spoken to me in 4 years. He kept me in court for 4 yrs until he broke me financially. Due to an experimental therapy I have been cured, but I have a broken heart and soul that I can't seem to fix. I am incredibly lonely and at my age it is not easy to make new friends. My family was my life! My 25 yr old son was the only one that stuck by me and helped me through my illness. I am tired of feeling hurt and all alone. I do not know how to cope anymore and sometimes I wish my illness would have take my life. I fought hard to beat this illness because I didn't want to leave my family. Instead they left me. How do I move on?
By anonymous at 14,Nov,12 05:39

i feel ur pain, i am 52, i have 2 sons and they dont talk 2 me, 2 grandkids and another on the way that i dont know, i just broke up with my fiance,and my friend just ripped me off fianancialy,and im recovering from breast cancer, life sucks that i know but love we go on. i am so lonely, i lost my job after 6 and a half years due to severe depression.but nothing can mend a broken all u cockheads writing fckn nasty shit. K A R M A is all i have to say to you pathetic humans.
By Jennifer at 02,Feb,13 01:24

You need to find other groups in your community - - get some space from the dysfunctional family and do stuff that you will enjoy. No matter what that is - sports, crafts, boating, cards -- there are others who enjoy it. Get on Meetup, go to church. Call some old friends from high school or college that you haven't talked to in ages. They will be more happy to hear from you than you can imagine. This is a fresh start, not an ending. Praying for you.
By Jennifer at 02,Feb,13 01:21 Fold Up

You sound like a decent, sweet, bright, loyal guy. You have no idea how many women are looking for you. You just need to let them find you....wander around grocery stores, go to church, go watch bands, join a hiking or skiing group on Meetup. I bet you are awesome and the thing most keeping you down is your low self-esteem and you're too embarrassed to admit to people you know that you "don't have a life." Well, they're too embarrassed to admit that too.
By Jennifer at 02,Feb,13 01:27

part II

just wanted to make it clear that my answer right above ("You sound like a decent, sweet, bright guy") was for anonymous at 10/4/12. My "higher" answer ("You need to find other groups" was anonymous at 11/14/12. Best to you all.

By anonymous at 07,Oct,12 17:13

I hope one day you find love! Everyone deserves to be love!

By anonymous at 11,Oct,12 21:49

My sister dated all the wrong men for years. She didnít stay with them long and has spent most of her life alone. In her early 40ís she finally found her Mr. Right and their love blossomed. They married and live an amazing happy life for 15 years. Sat. he had a heart attack and flat lined 4 times before arriving at the hospital. When your heart stops your brain doesnít get oxygen and your brain cell start dying AND they tell the other brain cells to die. When your heart starts to beat again your blood rushes trough your body and your brain gets oxygen and this super charges the process till the cells figure out their not dying this process take 2 minutes. Think about it 4 times. Know he is in a coma in ICU and Dr.ís are telling her to pull the plug because he has very little brain function left and even if he wakes up. He will be a vegetable. Can you imagine the love you wanted and waited for all your life. So I believe, Life is Short and those of us who are looking for Love it will happen and if you Love someone let them know, donít miss an out on an opportunity if you have it and donít be afraid of rejection it just makes you more resilient. And for those assholes your time will come!!! What goes around comes around!!! Karmaís a Bitch. LIFE IS SHORT LIVE IT WHILE YOU CAN!!!

By anonymous at 12,Oct,12 20:18

You can be with someone and still be lonely
By anonymous at 23,Oct,12 21:24

You hit the nail on the head :-(
By anonymous at 06,Jan,13 21:10 Fold Up

So true!Cause I'm in that situation now!
By Jennifer at 02,Feb,13 01:32 Fold Up

Yes, even more lonely than when you are actually alone because they are in the same space but as if you don't exist. I finally moved out of my own home until my husband left because I couldn't bear that nerve-wracking, smothering existence. Now divorced more than 5 years, ready to share again with more than just the dogs, but not sure how to go about it!

By anonymous at 22,Oct,12 11:01

Honestly, you attract people around you who are similar to yourself! If you are open to receiving all the wonderful, beautiful things in life than you will find yourself surrounded by like people! If you are open to receiving your perfect partner, your perfect partner will be there! Your own garbage thoughts and feelings that you are not worthy of love or some man is what is self-sabotaging you. Appreciate your friends and your job and give thanks for the good things in your life. Imagine the type of person you want to be with and begin talking about it. You'll find that just by putting out the intent, you draw it closer. Right now look in the mirror and say 5 things you love about yourself. Do that every day. Our minds work horrible tricks against us. The more you love and respect yourself, the more that others will too.

By anonymous at 14,Nov,12 20:41

First take care of and love yourself, know your value and what kind of man your looking for!!!! Here are all places you can find men:

-Try Online dating, there's free sites like and okcupid, give it a try, everyone online is not a weirdo.
-You could also try a matchmaker, check to see if there are any in your city.
-You should also look for singles events locally like speed dating, etc.
-Ask your friends if they know anyone that can hook you up
-Come out of your shell a little, if you see someone interesting approach them first
-Hang out at a Sports Bar
-Go to a Salsa/Ballroom Class
-Go to a nice lounge, make a game of it with your friends so it wont be so serious, like by the end of the night each of you has to get 10 phone numbers
Sometimes really cheesy pickup lines can make a person laugh because they're so corny, but they start a conversation

Hope this helps, if you want a man, you should actively look for one or go out, he's not just going to turn up at your door step. Good luck!

By anonymous - ck at 04,Jan,13 12:14

Wow - that surprises people take the time to post such mean things to a person who is asking for help. I know myself how it feels to be lonely and it isn't that easy to find a person to be with. I have a good job too and friends and have had 3 relationships in the past 10 years since I've been divorced but one was an alcoholic, one a user and the last one who I really loved was a drug addict. So I could not be okay with walking out into my living room and watching him snorting drugs. Loneliness has nothing to do with the fact that we think we are too good or don't accept people. I live in a small town there is no one to meet. People at work are married. I feel bad that you are lonely as well but I think there are other things we need to focus on - the good things we do have in life, jobs, friends, etc. Hang in there - hopefully someone will come your way and someone will come mine. And for you mean people it is easy to say hurtful things to others and I hope even as mean as you all have been to this person none of you feel how it is to be totally alone.

By anonymous at 05,Feb,13 08:48

i know exactly how you feel. ive been single for 17 years.

By anonymous at 18,Feb,13 22:38

You all have some living to do. I've not had even a date in 25 years (currently 47). All rejection. What I've learned: Let it go. Have a wank and get on with your life. Stop crying. Do something positive with your time. You can't change what others think of you, only what you think of yourself. When all else fails, try some 5-HTP. Then keep trying.

By anonymous at 26,Feb,13 01:06

People said XXX fuck, what is wrong with you people? This woman, I mean this person, actually is going through a very tough time. Are you all people perfect? You heartless people!!! Don't you dare judge others, imagine if it was you assole.

By anonymous at 19,Mar,13 22:23

iam so sorry i feel for you iam lonely to i know how you feel

By anonymous at 08,Jun,13 00:56

Man, that's rough...I'm pretty lonely too, at the moment. Don't worry, you'll break through'll find that somebody...keep looking, don't give up, and most of all don't lose hope. You have to keep fighting even when that punch in the face still have to. I have faith in you. You are strong. You are human. You have potential, and you'll find him. :')

By anonymous at 27,Oct,14 07:09

I am 40 and have been alone my whole life. I can't seem to find anyone for the life of me and boy did I try, but I honestly was dealt a bad hand in life and have been through extraordinary hardships only to find myself now at 40 with no job and living in squalor. People are just so f**ked up, this world is a piece of f**king crap. I wouldn't wish this life on the worst of enemies. I read once how someone who had been in a similar situation as me described life as a surreal video game aimed at avoiding pain and misery. That pretty much sums it up if you become that unfortunate 2%

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