well let me start by saying that my life is so fucked up beyond hope or fucking help, this is probably the worst day of my life, even though i made up with my parents and we are all getting along well. I still have problems embarassing myself and being "dumb" and acting like it in public, I think that I have a mental illness that is rare,(i'm pretty sure) that this illness is nothing people/ doctors have heard before. I find myself in places that are hard to back out of, I lie excessively and I think that I do it just to get a negative reaction from people, How fucking sick in the head is that! I know people are talking about me in public and it's because of what i did to them and what they say about me is sick, but mostly true. People OPENLY discuss me in public places or where I am at, (no jokes)right in front of my eyes and I let the mutherfuckers get to me and say it! fuck this I don't feel loved, i have no job, no nothing all I have to my name is the attitude of a sore loser. | |
You are blessed that you have a family to turn to- embrace that! You could have a disorder, have you ever brought up your issues with a doctor? and maybe medication could help? Perhaps people are not really talking about you and it's imagined? Not sure, but in anycase, I would talk to a doctor and see if what you're experiencing can be controled- the lying, the acting out, that isn't exactly "normal" behavior...
Good luck my friend-
Keep us posted..
Cursed
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