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life is messed

Posted by anonymous at April 17, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Juvenile problems

where do i begin. i'm 18 and I'm the youngest of 4 girls. my three older sisters are all beautiful and smart in school and have a good head on their shoulders. i have been extremely down lately and haven't even been able to go to class or pay attention in class. I'm in my first year of college and i am failing. i passed my first semester surprisingly but my second semester is a waste. i made my parents pay for this expensive school and i can't even give them what they want. i used to study and go to the library but when i saw that wasn't paying off i gave up. today i tired cutting myself with scissors and i actually kinda liked it. no one understands or would even expect it because i am always smiling my family literally is "the perfect family". all my sisters are in school and are doing amazingly well. and then theres me. i just wanna give up, i don't wanna be here anymore because all i am is the last daughter, the dumb daughter and the unsuccessful daughter. i have so much pressure to do well in school but i just feel like its not for me. in high school i was certain i wanted to be a high school teacher but now I'm not so sure. i just don't see the point in being here if all I'm going to do is disappoint my family and be the one daughter who didn't succeed. my family likes to talk about my family. as in my uncles and aunts brag about their kids and my parents do too. but theres nothing to brag about me cuz I'm just the stupid last daughter who personally shouldn't have even been born. i can't go and see a therapist or anything cuz it would be too difficult to keep from my parents. I've never been abused or anything like that i just don't like myself and don't believe in myself. I'm in school because my parents want me to be and well you can't really get a job anywhere without school especially if you're a girl.
i just want to give up.


Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 17,Apr,12 22:10

yes my lifes the exact same but younger version of you. well except for the cutting part
By at 18,Apr,12 05:18

run through problems dear,hurry hurry up,its the way to you..
By at 18,Apr,12 05:20

dear i like to have some sort of making ideas with,so its better if you can make an email if you like..


By anonymous at 20,Apr,12 08:10

i know how does it feel , I go through tht too , well just the difference is my sis makes my life hell too. She treats me like shit and my parents are crazy about education if kids were judged on the based of education I don't wanna live


By at 20,Apr,12 17:05

Instead of thinking about how better your sisters are than you, try to find something that makes you better than them like being ht athletic one or most charismatic and social (at least when you're not depressed). Maybe then you will not look down on yourself and wouldn't feel like crap...
Everyone has some hidden potential within him and moping around and feeling sad and low isn't gonna help you release it.
My advice start over and erase everyone and everything from your mind including all the feelings of sadness even happiness... after clearing out your mind, think about what you like and what you want to do, anything that makes you happy, cuz let's face it it's your life ( but please do not pick something too farfetched or something too rebellious that you WILL regret in the future). By the way, THERE IS NO SHORTCUT OT HAPPINESS, unless your happiness resides in money and your parents are filthy rich, then you're one lucky bastard. :D


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By smashing top seo at 24,Oct,13 08:49

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