So my life entails waiting and waiting and waiting for something good to happen. Every day gets worse and then then I wish it was the day before because it seemed better than today.
I gained 100 pounds over the last couple of years. When I weighed 135, I was miserable and I thought I was fat. I wished I was 125. Then I weighed 150, then 160, 170, 180. Then I hit 200. It's unbelievable when I look in the damn mirror. It's disgusting. The thing is, I felt just as disgusting when I weighed 135. Now I weight 245.
Ponder that. I ran a marathon 2 years ago and I hated myself because I was a fat chick trying to run. Now I can't even walk up the stairs.
I wish I would get killed on the freeway, or get squashed in an earthquake.
But next year I'll probably weight 300 lbs, then I'll wish I looked the way I look now.
I have a super good looking boyfriend and he refuses to have sex with me. We've been together for 3 years, and we dated for a while ten years ago.
The sex was awesome. Now he won't even look at me. I don't blame him. But damn, there's gotta be someone out there that get turned on by fat chicks.
I hate everything about the way I look, people think I'm a bitch.
I'm lonely as hell. And I live in Orange County, CA where everyone is white, skinny, and rich.
My life sucks!!!!!!