I am wealthy, popular, handsome, and talented. Many people have told me that they wish they had my life. Men always ask me for advice on how they can be more like me. I have slept with more beautiful women than I can remember. I have been to parties only celebrities attend. I have traveled to many different counties of the world. Why aren't I happy? I used to be a poor and lonely kid that no one cared about. My parents died when I was a toddler and so I spent many of my years in a foster home. When I was in elementary school, I had no friends, no one that really cared about me. I was so lonely. One day, when I was 11, I discovered that I had many talents. So I honed and practiced them tirelessly, every single day and year by year by myself until near-perfection, until what I did became recognized by not just my class, or my neighborhood, or my town, but the entire nation, and many years later, the world. I achieved so much success and fortune by my late teens. Now I consider myself to be one of the most successful people in my field. But I am not happy. I am lonely. All of my hard work, but still I can't say that I've ever met a person who truly cared about me, for the person I am and have always been. The only reason anyone wants anything to do with me is because of my success. Fake smiles, fake hugs, fake friendships, fake relationships. Everyone is just using me to get to something they want for themselves. I donate to charitable organizations regularly for noble causes, but they just use me as well. Everyone is a liar. I just wish I had just one person who could see past my money or my fame and see me for who I really am - just another person with the same wants and needs as everyone else. Someone who would still care about me if I didn't have any of this - I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to be happy and every single year that goes by, I can feel my sadness mounting with all of the parties, all of the awards, all of the women. I can't escape, believe me I have tried so hard. I wish I could just turn to that person and feel okay. But I now have started to accept that I will be alone forever. | |
I'm nowhere near as successful as it sounds like you are, but I do have success. I'm intelligent, articulate, handsome and in a relatively well paid job. I have a beautiful home and a lot of things that most people want. To me though, it's all irrelevant.
Life isn't judged by the number of zeros at the end of your bank balance or the number of 'friends' you have on Facebook. Life is judged by the quality of your relationships. When everyone around you is out for what they can get it destroys your faith in humanity.
BUT, not everyone is like that. It sounds to me like you may have a level of fame which dictates the way that others see you. Just go somewhere that you have no fame, and don't show any outward signs of your wealth. Whether you're able to do this in your home town or whether you need to travel for a few months I'm not sure, but I think an experience like that would show you what true wealth is.
That's not to say that you can't be honest! Just make sure that wealth and status aren't the first things people notice when they meet you (if that's possible). At least that way, when people know about your wealth and success, you can judge by their intentions by their actions.
I hope I'm not patronising you with that suggestion - certainly not intended... but I wish you every success that you haven't had and desperately desire.
...so, I can give a brief translation of your post so that people here will be able to comment more precisely and helpfully.
You: " Ok, so I'm an ugly little troll who played a lot of dragon dungeons when I was little and I kind of smelled like old hot dogs all the time. My parent wanted little to do with me since they were vegetarians and I kinda smelled like old hot dogs, so I hardly ever saw them. I went to the retard class all through elementary school because even flies were smarter than me and I had this smell...well...you know...Anyway, I found out that I could flog the dolphin with my left hand finger my shit chute with my right hand, get this..at the SAME TIME. With these talents I knew I'd be rich and famous. Well, time went on and I took several positions at various glory holes around town, except my glory hole was a two holer, so I could ply my talent. I was a thousandaire by the time I was 30!!!!
So, my only problem is I still have that smell, and no one really likes me. I have built up this imaginary world where I'm good looking and filthy rich and donate to good causes and sleep with beautiful women pretty much twice a day. Oh yeah, and celebrities dig me, like that guy from Lavern and Shirley, the little midget like guy who looked like he was the leader of the oompaloompa crips. Yep, I had it all, in my own mind, and I've told the story so many times no that I really believe it! So, basically I'm a liar with only one semi-useful talent who smells like old hot dogs and works at the 'Two Hand Man Glory Hole'. I hate myself."
...wow, slippery Jim! that's quite a telling tale!
You have certainly outdone yourself this time good sir...
If it's true what you wrote for us, and you're in pain.. Then it's real. Everyone's pain is VALID. Just some people are quick to judge ones BIG worse by envious to the small worse.
No matter how much wealth or fame one has, loniness is possible and could sink anyone low.
The first person that responded is right about people judging. At the end of the day, everyone shits stinks, what makes one better then anyone.
Wish more post and advice would come along, and wish you wealth in succeeding on overcoming you pain.
Good luck! One day, one is gonna walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
Sincerely, anonymous loser from the west coast.
If it makes you feel better. I'm a 28 year old male loser. Still a virgin. Never had a spouse. Greatful for a job, but minimum pay. Live with mom and dad. No real friends. I too, am here surfing the Internet.
Guess what I'm trying to say is when I comes to loniness, doesn't matter if one rich or poor, famous or a nobody..
With that..
"So, I truly can relate to how he feels...A lot!!"
So can I. So can you. So can others here who FEELS the same way.
Ever picking up dating again? You may be a divorcee, but that a sign that your desired.. And available. Which is better luck then I.
Sincerely, anonymous loser from the west coast.
If you TRULY believe you are not an ass... try budgeting yourself on $25k per year for about three years... that's what I did, and it gave me a whole new perspective on life. I drove an old, beat-up, rusted-out pickup truck, got rid of everything or put it in storage, rented a room in someone's house... it gave me a chance to get out of the habit of leveraging my assets and manipulating other people. My version of 40 days in the wilderness (I'm a slow study...)
For three years, I never got a second date from a girl... only went on 8 dates to begin with. I went back to school to work on some marketable skills and make some friends, which didn't work either... finally, I discovered that the best friends I made, were my co-workers. They realized that while I have poor people skills, they think I am honest, hard-working, brilliant, loyal, have a quick sense of humor and child-like curiosity... and, I would give my life for them... Aspergers' Syndrome has its up side.
I finally left my home, friends, and family, moved to another state where the people were more obnoxious and abrasive than me... learned to be a little more patient, and, I have been (miraculously) with the same woman for 12 years now. She's not perfect, but, neither am I. She is better educated than I, makes more money, has no emotional baggage, is easy going, 100% honest, cute, not jealous or manipulative, and a decent cook...
Maybe it is a question of attitude.
You could always ditch your money for say a year and set yourself a challenge and go away and do something for a charity where no one knows you! It might give you a new perspective on things!
The fact of the matter is regardless of what anyone else thinks, the way you feel and the emptiness and pain you might feel are very real to you. Simply for the fact that other people may feel worse off than you doesn't give them the right to offhandedly dismiss your feelings.
You seem to have gotten yourself into a position where you feel judged on very superficial criteria. Making online friends is a good place to find out that people can and will like you for you and not some kind of public perception of you. However it's only really a stop gap, eventually you'll realise that you need to take a leap of faith and trust someone to like you for all of you and not just the bits that you pick and choose.
You'll feel that the friends you make anonymously will become just as empty for you as those you feel only like you because of the perceived you. If you're a good person it will shine through and you will find someone who sees it.
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