I am 19. Some aspects of my life are okay. I have a good family and parents that care for me. I get good grades and am on my way to graduate college. I wouldn't say I'm ugly, but I wouldn't say I'm gorgeous either.
Despite the "good" in my life, there are other things. I have chronic depression. No matter what I do, I'm never happy. I found this sight by typing "life sucks" into Google because all of my thoughts are based on depressing and negative thoughts. I also have situational depression, which causes my to go into a deep, dark, suicidal depression when bad things happen. This is where I am today.
My best friend (guy), just fell for my other best friend (girl), even though they both knew my strong feelings for the guy. I've been pushed away. I no longer matter. I am worthless and have been realizing that I have been all along. I have no friends.
I used to know a girl, who changed my life forever. She had a heart attack and is now a vegetable. She can't do anything and I miss her.
I recently had 2 family members die of cancer, and 2 friends committ suicide. I am in a horrible financial situation and I don't know what to do.
This may not seem like anything HORRIBLE, but no one knows what depression is like until they're in their deepest, darkest hours, contemplating suicide. It takes over my mind. It consumes my world. It blinds me. I can't escape. I'm trapped in this dreary place. I can't find a way out. I'm worthless. I'm done. I can't handle the feeling of being controlled by depression, but no matter what I do, it's there, controling my mind and thoughts, taunting me. I have iscolated myself from the world. I don't care if people think this is dumb, or something not to worry about. I know my pain. I know how this feels. I know. And no one understands. No one cares.