I just spent the last two hours in the stairwell of my dorm crying. Not a single person stopped to ask if I was ok. I had alcohol in my system and deadly pills in my hand. If I were a tad bit more drunk I would have taken those pills and not be here right now. 2 months ago I was checked into a psychiatric center for depression. Clearly nothing is helping me. I go to school 2000 miles from my home and have no friends. No one to talk to.
Starting 9 years ago, for 2 years, my oldest brother would molest me, take advantage of me, expose himself to me, watch me while I showered or changed, and force me to do things.
I have been traumatized ever since. Now, everyone loves my brother. They think he's the greatest kid ever. No one knows about our past. And I can't tell anyone. I'm scared of him and the memories haunt me to this day.
My depression has gone on for 4 years now and I can't hold on much longer. Just wanted to make my story heard. Thanks | |
Look, I am a qualified hypnotherapist and I have had several people like you and the only way forward for you is to tell someone what happened. I am sorry but thats the only way and then you will / can move on. The thing is honey... what have you got to lose in telling someone about what happened? Nothing.. you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!! Please go for it... I have a daughter too and I would be very sad if she was in the same position as you.... PLEASE tell the police and then move on and hopefully you can be a happier person... lifes too short! All the very best!!!!
hang in there sweetie ;)
One thing about your story is weird, and maybe it's the answer to your troubles! Everything about your life seems to be in "2's" 2 hours crying, 2 months ago in the booby hatch,school is 2000 miles from home, 2 years of being diddled by your brother, depression for 4 years, which is 2 squared!!!!
Holy fuck! The answer is to get away from 2's!! I'd try 3's. You could do 1's, but three seems better, it's more like you moved on from 2's rather than being "pre 2".
So, go sit in the stairwell, get 3 times as drunk, and then cry for 3 hours. Then, quit school and move 3000 miles away from it, probably to iceland or greenland, but be advices that iceland is green and greenland is icy...dumb fucking vikings. Then, go home and beat the shit out of your older brother 3 times and tell 3 relatives that your brother played slot machine with your cock for a long time and his new nickname should be Baby Fucker Jimmy.
Then go fuck yourself and your depression 3 times and I'm pretty sure your emo goth boy depression will go away on it's own. If not, go buy some beef hearts at save-u-mart, put them in your pocket and jump in the lion pen at your local zoo. Problem solved!
But stay the fuck away from them 2's
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