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I feel so hopeless and dont deserve to live

Posted by HopelessGrad at March 22, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 March  Money  Unemployment

I just feel so hopeless about myself, and I've just had enough. If it wasn't for my mom I'd have killed myself already, but I could never put her through that. I'm a university graduate from a well recognised school, have had several jobs in the past where I always did well. I used to consider myself a very bright person, full of potential. I had dreams and goals, and hope. I gave those up the moment I realised I had no real potential.
I've applied for over 200 jobs in the last month. Nothing. Interviews at about 5/200 that went no where. I'm applying for entry level work. I'm applying for anything I can find. I long ago gave up of finding a job I'd actually enjoy, now I simply need some income. Nothing.
I've worked hard for everything I've had in my life, nothings ever been handed to me. I've worked since I was 16, I've never not had a part time job. I paid for my own education and worked long hours and late nights at horrible jobs just to get by. I've never had a break, I've never had something handed to me. I thought that would help me in the future. I guess not.
All around me people are starting careers. When I asked them how they found the job they respond "my uncles company" or "my dad's the executive". Ha. Must be nice. My dad just got laid off.
I want to keep trying but after today (and another embarrassing rejection) I'm giving up. I have no future, there's no point to me being here anymore. Once my mom is gone I will go too; me not wanting to hurt her is the only reason I'm still alive. I hate myself and I hate who I'm becoming; a nobody.


Similar Entries:
depressed February 16, 2012
Hopeless May 17, 2011
i feel very sad June 5, 2012
suicidal, i really wish i were dead December 1, 2010
Could be worse right???  March 4, 2011

New Comment

By anonymous at 22,Mar,12 10:55

Wow that must be hard, but don't give up yet, sooner or later you'll find one, just keep on trying and anyway you're not the only person having the same prob. In my country, just about 10million people are unemployed, the majority hates their jobs.

By anonymous at 22,Mar,12 12:16

You need to stop being so negative. Get positive and don't give up. Its hard to stay positive, I know. I was in the same position about 2 months ago, finally landed a job after trying for about 2 years! You gotta get positive and keep on trying even if you continue to fail. Its your life, you gotta fight for it.

By Cursed at 22,Mar,12 14:19

Wait ah minute hopeless GRAD- you definitely get an A for effort! Way to go! At least you're trying- to find a job. Which is more than a lot of people are doing. So the economy blows right now, be persistent!
What's the saying- the "SQUEEKY MOUSE" gets the CHEESE? In anycase, you've just graduated from college- a good one, and it's only a matter of time, before someone's going to give you that opportunity, that you are searching for-
Don't give up! Be a fighter. Fight for what you want in your life- and go get it!
You've got your mum and your dad and they must be super proud of you? Talk to them- and they will support you...
Eventually, with determination, you will land a job! It may not be ideal, but at least it will get you started on that successful path towards a career that you will enjoy...
Give it time-
Be patient-
Good luck!

By at 22,Mar,12 14:37

Grad, the truth is that jobs are best found based upon connections. When I was in my early 20s, right after graduating from a good 4-year University, I was so depressed because I could not get a job - I remember being turned down by a pizza shop. I moved back home with my parents and hated it. The first decent job I got was because a friend worked at a bank (she was 23 and entry-level as well) and recommended me. Fairly or otherwise, that is how it works. I have been in management consulting now for about 16 years, and I hire people all the time. By far and away, we prioritize people who are recommended by our current staff, because supposedly that means we can at least be sure they are not whack jobs (which often can not be discerned in an interview). I would seriously advise you to talk to all the people you know who have decent jobs and ask that they keep you apprised of any potential openings. That is the way to go. I have no doubt. Employers receive so many resumes from unknown people that no matter how good you look on paper, unless you have a connection (and it's fine if it's an entry level connection; your dad does not need to own the company), you really have very little chance.

By anonymous at 22,Mar,12 16:23

well, how long have you been unemployed exactly? i was unemployed for about 2 and a half years. got a job and had it for only a year to lose it cuz the business closed. and here i am again unemployed for 3 months and looking. all we can do is keep trying. i know rejections are hard and all but get used to them. learn to grow thick skin. after all my experiences, i learned not to give up and to keep trying. and that eventually something will come through. 200 is not that bad. i have applied to over 100 places so. and i will apply to 100 more and 100 more until i get whatever comes my way.

don't let this get you down. or let getting a job be all your self worth is cuz really lots of people out of work right now. and you have to learn to be patient and to find other things to occupy your time. try internships just to get your foot in the door. work out. volunteer. go to the library. career fairs. networking. find others who are unemployed in your area and reach out to them as people who are going through the same thing. you are a college grad and a lot of people do not even have their degrees. so be lucky for that and have the support of your family. do not give up. and realize that you are not the only who has had to work for everything. not everyone gets lucky breaks. i wish you luck.

By anonymous at 22,Mar,12 17:28

I am too in the same situation as you. I am also a college grad and Had six interviews yet still no job. I thought I was going to get hired from my last interview but turned out another rejection. I'm so discouraged right now but hey, can't let that stop you from getting what you want. It's tough but just need to keep going. A lot of people I know have good paying jobs and I get so jealous but I know or at least I hope I will be like that some day. Don't give up!! I'm sure there are people out there who have it a lot worst. Just keep trying and applying.

By anonymous at 22,Mar,12 18:41

That's awful to feel that. and I understand being in the same boat and telling myself daily 20 min in morning to make it another day. I have a son who is having a baby and if not for him or my mom I wouldn't be here. 3 years unemployed and to top it off to have rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis when laid off! i tell myself there are people worse. but with hands that are so painful to pull up my pants on days, it makes it hard to find anyone willing to employ. right now i find the only thing you can do is talk to yourself and make it one day at a time.
By Cursed at 23,Mar,12 11:42

You poor thing. RA is so painful. I feel for you-

By anonymous at 22,Mar,12 19:01

You're honestly stronger than I am. For you to push yourself through school, and continue to search for a job regardless that weren't getting any luck. I mean in today's hopeless standards, you will turn out better than the rest of us, who sit where we are, doing nothing with our lives, like me. I just hope you'll make it through this crap, because just knowing that somebody like you can get through this stuff makes me forget what my own problems are.

By at 22,Mar,12 19:11

You know... i have the same exact problem , except that im still in college and i have no idea how to get a job after that. Everyone around me is looking forward to start their careers after graduation ... again at some company owned by their families or families' friends while i sit on the side watching people who are taking it easy all year around and (i dont want to sound conceited but) arent as smart or ambitious as me...It's not fair that im not as rich or well-connected...makes me feel like a low-life.
The only difference is that my mom doesnt rly care much for me and my dad is taking life easy and doesnt get bothered by anything and says that i worry about things too much...
Dude... seriously... dont give up... i mean not just for your mom but for people around the world like me and you. Give us hope cuz people need to reassurance that good things happen to good people sooner or later ... and that good guys dont always finish last...
Hang in there dude

By anonymous at 12,Apr,12 17:48

Your story sounds alot like mine. I have worked since I was 15, emancipated myself from my family, bought my own home, paid for my own education. I too, cannot find work, as I have applied for everything. No one ever gave me anything either, except a hard time.

I hope things get easier for you, and me. That we find work. This overqualified/underqualified is bs....

I feel the same way you do.

By anonymous at 30,Apr,12 11:50

Write to : Dear DeeDee, Suite 408, S. Stillman Bayou, Pensacola, Fl. 32505 ..offering 'pre-website'[workin-on-it]advice help to those who need it. Please enclose SASE. We can fix it, together....note that nothing changes when your gone so why bother?

By anonymous at 12,Dec,12 19:01

I go through the something everyday for almost 3 years. I understand what Hopelessgrad is going through. I feel the same way. In fact I am a nobody that used to feel like I had potential on learning things fast. And I always wanted to be a boxer or a doctor or scientist when I was a younger. Life just doesn't turn out the way we plan. Till this day me and my mom and both sisters and my nephew and both of my nieces, we live in the same house and we struggle for food and to pay the bills. we don't plan on getting gifts for Christmas. If u wouldve seen the faces of my nephew and both of my nieces when there is nothing to eat or when we told them that we couldn't get them anything for Christmas cause of bills and food, it would've killed u inside just like it killed me inside. Im useless and worthless and i cant do anything for my family. I don't just feel like I don't belong in this life, I know it. Good luck to you Hopelessgrad. I hope god cares enough to help you and your family. That is if there is a god. Happy holidays

By Janay at 15,May,17 01:02

Great inshtig! That's the answer we've been looking for.

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