LIFE SUCKS

Im Just A Kid

My family moved to a different country. A spanish speaking country. I've been speaking spanish my entire life, but my vocabulary isn't that big. I had the option to stay in the United States for a while longer, but I didnt want to leave my family suffering by themselves. Im the youngest in the family. I was in high school before I moved. The thing is...I moved in the middle of the school year. Now that Im here, no school wants to accept me because its half way through the school year. Theres a public school option, but no one in my family wants me to go because of the danger. Im the social type, I really am. I had tons of friends before I moved. Im scared to speak to people here though. Im scared that I'll get tongue tied(which I always do) and be embarassed. I try to speak it, but I even have trouble communicating with some of my other family that lives here. Since Im not going to school, Im not meeting anyone thats my age. Theres no hang out place that I can go to to meet people. I dont know what to do. I want friends and I want someone to talk to besides my family. I have cousins, but none of them are really around my age. My two female cousins are 20 and 25. My sister is 26. My brothers are 29 and 31 and my two younger cousins are 2 and 5. I try to talk to my friends back home, but it seems like they dont want to talk to me. They dont care about me anymore. They're living their lives normally while Im in a different continent considering suicide. And none of them care. I thought they were my bestest of friends. I had known them all for a long time. And it hurts that the dont call or ask me how Im doing through facebook. It makes me feel like they never cared at all. Theres nothing I want to do more than to go back, but now that Im here...I know I cant...what can I do? Is there even anything I can do? I dont want to take my life away. I really dont, but sometimes it seems like the better option.