When I was 16, I had everything. A nice car, tons of friends, a huge home on a lake and I was dating the prom queen. Literally. At the same time, parents were both horrible alcoholics despite their success. They lost almost all their money in a business investment and shortly after got a divorce. We were so broke we had to move into a very small house in a bad part of town. It was so humiliating. My girlfriend left me because I was so stressed out about the whole thing I wasn't giving her any attention. The truth was I had lost all self esteem and I felt like I wasn't good enough for her anymore. Like a true idiot, I began doing the last thing my family needed. I skipped class almost every day to smoke and drink. It ended up so bad that I dropped out and got my GED mid-way through my Senior year. From then on, I just continued partying and drinking for the next 4 years of my life, literally doing nothing to better myself. I have worked shitty job after shitty demeaning job, because a GED gets you nothing. The worst part is everyone knows I'm a HS dropout, but they don't say anything. It's hard to look the people I went to school with in the eyes even to this day because of the shame. I live in a smaller town so it's almost impossible to escape my past. A lot of people seemed to love the fact that I turned out to be a failure. I was fed up and I decided I would do something for myself and my life. I started up at a community college and was getting good enough grades that I was actually set to transfer to a major university in one years time. I was so excited, it felt like I would be vindicated. At the same time I was a horrible alcoholic myself. I got drunk every single day. How I managed to maintain the grades I was, I have no idea. Then over the last summer break, I became so ill I had to be hospitalized. I had encephalitis which is an infection of the lining of the brain. The doctors have told me that I may never recover because of serious neurological damage. It's so bad that I can't even walk up the stairs without help. I wasn't the sharpest guy before, so it seems like whatever bit of quick thinking ability I had is lost. My father has basically worked his way back out of the gutter and is able to cover my extensive medical bills and I have to live with him indefinitely. It feels like whatever shot I had at redeeming myself and making a better life is gone, and I am destined to live a pathetic, meaningless life. My friends have all disappeared save one or two, who check in on me occasionally out of pity. I'm not a bad guy, I'm generally easy to get along with and most consider me funny, but it's clear I have nothing to offer anyone anymore. I've tried to reach out to people, but i'm not going to beg people to spend time with me. If I don't recover, I'll likely end up living with my parents the rest of my life until they die and then I'll likely end up in a home and passing by the time I'm about 50 or 60. I used to have it all. Now I have nothing, and no one to blame but myself.