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I'm a Colossal Disaster of a Human Being

Posted by anonymous at March 14, 2012
Tags: Alcohol  2012 March

When I was 16, I had everything. A nice car, tons of friends, a huge home on a lake and I was dating the prom queen. Literally. At the same time, parents were both horrible alcoholics despite their success. They lost almost all their money in a business investment and shortly after got a divorce. We were so broke we had to move into a very small house in a bad part of town. It was so humiliating. My girlfriend left me because I was so stressed out about the whole thing I wasn't giving her any attention. The truth was I had lost all self esteem and I felt like I wasn't good enough for her anymore. Like a true idiot, I began doing the last thing my family needed. I skipped class almost every day to smoke and drink. It ended up so bad that I dropped out and got my GED mid-way through my Senior year. From then on, I just continued partying and drinking for the next 4 years of my life, literally doing nothing to better myself. I have worked shitty job after shitty demeaning job, because a GED gets you nothing. The worst part is everyone knows I'm a HS dropout, but they don't say anything. It's hard to look the people I went to school with in the eyes even to this day because of the shame. I live in a smaller town so it's almost impossible to escape my past. A lot of people seemed to love the fact that I turned out to be a failure. I was fed up and I decided I would do something for myself and my life. I started up at a community college and was getting good enough grades that I was actually set to transfer to a major university in one years time. I was so excited, it felt like I would be vindicated. At the same time I was a horrible alcoholic myself. I got drunk every single day. How I managed to maintain the grades I was, I have no idea. Then over the last summer break, I became so ill I had to be hospitalized. I had encephalitis which is an infection of the lining of the brain. The doctors have told me that I may never recover because of serious neurological damage. It's so bad that I can't even walk up the stairs without help. I wasn't the sharpest guy before, so it seems like whatever bit of quick thinking ability I had is lost. My father has basically worked his way back out of the gutter and is able to cover my extensive medical bills and I have to live with him indefinitely. It feels like whatever shot I had at redeeming myself and making a better life is gone, and I am destined to live a pathetic, meaningless life. My friends have all disappeared save one or two, who check in on me occasionally out of pity. I'm not a bad guy, I'm generally easy to get along with and most consider me funny, but it's clear I have nothing to offer anyone anymore. I've tried to reach out to people, but i'm not going to beg people to spend time with me. If I don't recover, I'll likely end up living with my parents the rest of my life until they die and then I'll likely end up in a home and passing by the time I'm about 50 or 60. I used to have it all. Now I have nothing, and no one to blame but myself.


New Comment

By at 15,Mar,12 23:23

You're not a "disaster of a human being". Just a lot of bad things happened in a short period of time and you turned to the wrong methods of coping with it.Focusing on recovering for now, things will get better for sure! But you might want to stop with the drinking, it definitely won't help your brain recover. Get help if you can't quit by yourself; I think it's the drinking that's jeopardizing your future and not you yourself. It seems like you have plenty of potential, especially since you're still young. Good luck and hope you feel better! (:

By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 23:26

i am sorry to hear that. do you know why this happened to you? i read up on it cuz i never heard of it and apparently you can get from some insect bites.

but the diagnosis wasn't all bad depending on your situation and body. so be positive because it is likely that you will RECOVER from this. PRAY and hope and think positive for the best. g-d bless.

By at 16,Mar,12 16:07

May Allah bless you.

Allahu akbar!

By Truth at 16,Mar,12 16:28

i know a guy like you.. He had it all! His old man gave him a nice car, and he lived in a HUGE ASS home on lake pettibrew, and he dated the prom queen as well, who was justhisclose to being a hooker because she'd fuck you for lunch money, or even a donut if it was in the morning.

Anyway, his p's were a couple of drunks, and they went tits up in their business, so this kid started drinking and shit, and long story short, he pretty much fucked everything up. One day he caught me fucking the prom queen which I gave her a donut for, and he attacked me. Well, I was humping away while he tried to pull me off her, and then I blew my load so high up in her that a little came out of her left ear, so then I got up and slammed my cock so hard into the side of his head that he fell over and passed out.

After that he had some kind of disease in the head, and I think it was from the prom queen's pussy that might have slimed him from getting hit so hard by my cock. Now he can barely climb a flight of stairs, and he lives with his old man who has to give him baths. I'm not his friend anymore, but I hear he still has a coupl of them who check in on him from time to time.

He should have never attacked me while I was humping, but you pay for the things you do I guess. I'd be surprised if he lived past 50 or 60.

By air jordans 7 at 11,Aug,14 03:32

Storified by

By Janelle at 25,May,16 01:02

Hi and cogtianulatrons! I was checking out all the nominees for the Book Blogger Appreciation Awards and trying to live up to my nomination by inviting everyone over to my blog Semicolon tomorrow for the Saturday Review of Books. If you're not familiar with the Saturday Review, it's just a place that I provide each Saturday where you can link to your book reviews for the week and read those of other book bloggers. You're cordially invited to check it out tomorrow and to join in the book discussion at Semicolon anytime.

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