Upon reading this you'll prob think my life isn't all that bad; BUT honestly I truly think my life is totally worthless. For starters, I'm 26 I live with my mother, I'm 5'4, mixed race, I'm unemployed, I have no gf, I have no car, and I have no money; I'm terribly lonely and I have some friends but I still feel like my life is worthless. God has shitted on me all my life. I'm crying while i'm writing this because what i'm about to tell you all is true.
The only reason I have not committed suicide is because I volunteer regularly with senior citizens to whom look forward to my youthful and foolish optimism for amusement and inspiration. I am naive to think that I should not die today or tonight and I have regularly thought of killing myself But inculcation from my family has taught me an awful of feeling that maybe i should 'wait one more day'...but I promise you all, this i my suicide note.
I finished college more than 3 years ago and I my life is nowhere is should be. Education will not make you happy.
I guess the thing that bothers me most is that I feel no woman will ever think of me as attractive. I'm mixed( I'm neither black or white) which means unless i'm rich or famous no woman will ever love me. I'm unlovable, I will always be overlooked, vilified, cast as an outcast.
God if you're merciful please let me die; evolution says my genes should die, I would never want my son tp experience my life. So be merciful and kill me PLEASE | |
i don't have a car either. as long as u have public transportation, u should be ok. congrats on being a college grad and volunteering at a senior home. what a commendable thing to do. i don't have a boyfriend or any friends but i don't dwell on it. i figure that it will not always be this way and things will get better.
why wont anyone hire you? no jobs in ur area? have u applied everywhere? have u thought about moving to a bigger city because of job prospects? you aren't alone and you seem like such a great person. just keep in mind that this life means nothing and it's all about going thru hardships. it's where we go from here that matters.
what kind of mix are you? who said women don't want mixed men? it's beautiful to get characteristics from 2 different races. nothing wrong with it. don't let anyone tell you different.
just because there is no other type of love that you have experienced does not meant the same for others. everyone's experiences and feelings are different.
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