Everyday seems to just bleed in with each other. I do the same thing every day nothing changes. Wake up, look into the mirror and hate everything I see, then go to school and just nearly making it through one day, Go home and just sit in my room and cry and do nothing. When i'm alone all I can think about is how I fucked up my life and other peoples by just being here. I use to get made fun of in my old school till I moved in October. I'm afraid to ware shirtsleeves or even take my shirt off for gym because my body is scared from cutting so much. I just can't take it anymore, it's just getting to hard even to wake up in the morning. I'm 17 and iv'e tried suicide about 6 times. Iv'e been to a Psychiatric hospital for the last two times. Trying to shoot myself, and cutting my wrist... I have no friends and the one i had died 2 months ago, and I lost my older brother when I was 6 years old. The only sanction I have from nightmare of demons eating me alive almost every night is alcohol and my music, but the music is starting to stop slowly.
Everyday seems to be getting harder to live each day, the cutting beacons my name sometimes it's so bad. I wish that my life would end but 6 times failed at taking my own life, it just seems not to be working.. On top of everything i'm constantly sick, it seems like i'm fine for a week then the next week i'm sick again. My life seems to be in an never ending circle of depression and sickness. It is just to hard anymore, I honestly with the bullet wasn't a dud, and my mom walk on me... Just life for my sucks period, it's like i'm nothing in this world for people, but I know i'm not the only one that's like this, it just seems like nobody were I live understands and accepts though. | |
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