Before I start Id like to express my empathy for the other users, you guys are going through some extremely tough, and sad situations and all of you are so strong for hanging in there... continuing to live through these circumstances takes a truly special person, and all of you should consider this fact. My life hasnt been so different, I have been blessed with a completely functional body and mind however my days have been a disaster. Im only twenty and i have zilch for friends, every friend i have ever had has completely drained me of my recources and then dropped me like a bad habbit. I figure part of being a friend is doing things for eachother, but it seems that this is a one way street in my instance. When I was 8-13 my so called friends would convince me to do delinquent, but hilarious things at school. I always thought this was a mutual relationship with my peers but Ive realized that I was only being used, as thats as far as any of my friendships went... them laughing while I was hauled off to suspension. This unhealthy relationship with my peers eventually led me to doing more and more to gain their approval until I was removed from school and thrown into detention. I spent 3 months away from my home and family. When I got out I thought I had found some real friends, we would hang out after school and they really didnt pressure me into anything. A month later all 3 of them robbed the local pizza place in the middle of the night. Next thing I know i was the prime suspect in the investigation. Since the place didnt have cameras and there was only one old witness they took the word of the other kids who all said I was the one who broke the door and went in while they watched. I had no defense since I lived a block from the place. All I could say was "I was at home sleeping. The cops didnt buy it and due to my background as a trouble maker i was convicted of robbery and spent the next year and a half in lock up. Since Ive gotten out I cant make friends and Im so bitter and heartbroken about the past i dnt know if Ill ever be able to allow myself to trust people. Im extremely sad and lonely lately I wish i could meet some people who actually like me and are kind hearted individuals. Like I said Im only 20 but I feel as if I am headed towards a road of being alone, and I hate nothing more. | |
bridgie hart
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