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Things feel like a hopeless mess

Posted by tjb3423 at February 27, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 February  Job

I am 25 years old, female, and completely weighed down. I work two jobs, sometimes 60+ hours a week and I feel like I am starting to loose my composure. I am so tired not just physically but emotionally as well. I don't really have an outlet for my stress and I never have a chance to really enjoy myself. I had a very tough week followed by a horrible day at my second job. I had a patient call and when I tried to give them assistance, they turned around and made sexiest and inappropriate comments when all I tried to do was help them. I feel like people are very cruel especially in the customer service industry. I work incredibly hard to provide people with the best attention and courtesy possible, but after dealing with the degenerate I delt with today my demeanor was crushed. I broke down while still at work. I could not stop the tears from running down my face. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated and now I am in fear that I will loose my job if I recieve a complaint. It is so stressful when you feel as though no matter what you do another person has the ability to make you appear wrong. Overall, I just don't know how much more I can handle. Sometimes my hands shake and I feel like my body is wearing down. I am not sure if I just need a break or an entire change. I support myself. I am unmarried and have no children so you would think that I have nothing to truly worry about. The truth is I worry all the time. My sleep patterns have changed and I am at my breaking point. I try so hard to appear content and stable, but there are days (more increasingly so) that I feel so far from that statement. I just wish I had an answer instead of so many unanswered questions. Will I ever find happiness? Am I good enough to be given the chance I deserve? Can I learn how to stop letting people get the best of me and be the strong and confident woman that I know is somewhere inside of me? I have been told that I need to turn to God or a higher power to find the answers I seek, but even my faith has been less visable with each passing day. I strongly feel that my situation is not completely hopeless but I truly need guidance. I am so grateful that I am able to support myself, have a nice home, a boyfriend who loves me, and a family that values my every efforts to be an independent, self-sufficient person. However, things feel like a hopeless mess.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
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Hopeless May 17, 2011
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Comments:
By anonymous at 04,Mar,12 22:39

If you have a bf why the hell are you working 60 hours a week? Can't he help a little? You are going to kill yourself working that much. 40 hours is enough, no-one can work more than that and stay healthy and sane.


By anonymous at 05,Mar,12 20:43

i wish i had a job


By anonymous at 04,Jul,12 13:16

I hope you feel better soon. Life is crazy and cruel soemtimes but we live until we die.


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