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Alone...

Posted by Traz at February 18, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 February  Loneliness

Iam 17 and I feel so alone, all the time, but not like a "no friends no love" type of alone but more so of a mind set loneliness, I sit each and every contemplating suicide, there are scares on my arm that haunt me and reminds me of my sadness, WHY?? they ask, hmm no reason..well no reason you would understand, My mind is so far gone in this reality I cant help but to feel as though life is a dream. Iam not physically alone but mentally, I feel like im on the border line of complete insanity or a genius! Despair, emptiness, solitude, misery, kill my soul, consumes it in a fiery burning sensation which we call pain. I do not believe in happiness! no such thing! but there are "happy moments" which will take me away for a second or 2, but just to make the crash even harder. think of this, you can remember the feeling of sadness faster then u can remember the feeling of happiness. So much more to me that, sadly even If I wrote a book everyone still would fail to understand, so take this piece and try to understand, but don't wind up like me, understand your self before another, unless your to difficult for yourself. but if you don't succeed just accept your depression and let that dark whole of sorrow and pain sallow you whole, and maybe you can we can see eye-to-eye......maybe. (I'm not Emo) ...just a lonely man.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 25,Feb,12 21:59

Stop being a whiney baby.


By anonymous at 25,Feb,12 23:09

Srry to hear u feel tthat way, i have felt similar since i was about 9 yrs old. Im 28. Still hoping this life gets better. Like a lyric from coldplay, no body said it'd be easy, but no one ever said it would be this hard. Try to hold ur chin up..


By anonymous at 26,Feb,12 00:03

Yes you ARE emo.


By anonymous at 26,Feb,12 00:24

I went through high school without friends, I know what its like to be alone. It makes you think about yourself. You realize there are two parts to you. Your body and your soul. That's what makes you feel like your in a dream. You cant escape your reality because your soul is trapped in your body.
You have to learn to live life to nurture your soul. It is really that part that is lonely. Find a good christian church not mormom or catholic. Enjoy it for what it is and don't mind the religious part. It is the relationship with your soul your creator wants to connect to. Religion is rules, they get in the way and cause strife and seperation. Belief is all that is required, the rest will come with time and conscience.


By anonymous at 26,Feb,12 01:35

All night I was trying to think about what to say to u but belive it or not I know how u feel,17 was the worst year of my life I was numb to the world tell u the truth I was numb for many years I burned myself to make me feel alive I have horrible.social anxiety and the only person I got really close to tried.to commit suicide twice it thought about dyeing all the time unil I realized how selfish it is i'm on anti depressants finally and im26 never in my life have I felt worth a shit till now I went throgh 4 diffrent ones I realized I had to move on conker fear although I still have no friends I know im better than putting up with someone calling me a worthless piece of shit everyday
By anonymous at 26,Feb,12 05:03

fkkk no you have already shown yourself as so much better than them. you will win with the small steps that keep your integrity intacked


By anonymous at 26,Feb,12 04:41

Wow, that religious comment that was trying to get you to concert to Christianity... what BULLSHIT.

First off, from your post it seems to me that you have a respect for idealogy. In other words, you think a lot. That's cool.

To find a true solution , you must first truly understand the problem. I had a similar mindset as you do when I was 17. Very basically, I went from being raised baptist for 16 years to enlightening myself on hard-core logic and reasoning. That given, I understand and can empathize with how there's a distinct barrier between emotions and logic. That's why people are mentioning the whole "body/soul" concept. It relates. Sometimes there's a trade-off between knowing and feeling, though there doesn't have to be.

So here's the truth. I don't know what your name is, or what you've experienced, or the choices that you have made, or what normally goes through your mind at every point in the day... but when I started reading your post, it seemed that all the feelings you were describing were feelings that I feel right now and have generally felt all my life. And me? Well, you know as little about me as I know about you.

So maybe we're not so different, you and I. Maybe there are a lot of people who are like you. I know for a fact that probability states that there are definitely people out there that have the potential for genius, and congruently are emotionally sensitive and frail, not because they are weak, but because true genius comes in true humility to understand the truth. And maybe that's why you search out to understand other people. I know that's why I do. I feel what you feel, and both of us have the potential for genius all the time.

That should give you hope, just as much as it gave me hope when I read your post.

Oh, and FUCK RELIGION
.. and ASSHOLES
... and RELIGIOUS ASSHOLES.


By anonymous at 26,Feb,12 05:00

i googled i hate being lonely and got yr comment. strangely it makes me feel better and less isolated to know so many feel the same. Perhaps we need to adjust our expectation of 'happy' so we will not end up disappointed


By anonymous at 26,Feb,12 11:52

Can you give me a good reason of why do we live? I am sure we dont live to die.. but what then? i really want to hear this from you
By Traz at 15,Mar,12 13:07

Why do we live? I believe the reason for life is to learn, and to be tested as a human being, to see what can your mind handle. Can you with stand the hardship? downtime,or the "fuck it kill me" moments, like I said in the post, life is a dream to me, or a movie, not knowing how the dream/movie will end or how it will continue but is still so entertaining to watch. If your like me? with ongoing war inside your mind then your movie/dream will defiantly be a Tragedy or a Nightmare, which ever u prefer. Just remember you are who you choose to be
By anonymous at 03,Apr,12 10:47

Yes so true, and i really hope that everything turns the way you want it with you.. im just wondering, what's you're religion?
By Traz at 11,Apr,12 02:09

Im agnostic


By anonymous at 26,Feb,12 13:31

you lot can fuck off yeah, you dont feel like this... good for you guys! get off the fucking site, clearly not made for you wankers is it... cunt is the word, pure fetish cunts.
By anonymous at 27,Feb,12 02:03

Um some people have a REASON to feel bad, the others are abusing this site to complain about jack like little kids, which most of them are. I don't see how "fetish" relates to anything aside from proving you're a cybersex addicted masterbater and that was some kind of verbal diarrhea.


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