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Failure

Posted by anonymous at February 16, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 February  Money

My heart weighs heavy since my mother passed away, nothing appeals to me anymore and my drive to succeed is all but gone. I need someone whom I can rely on, someone whom I can be honest with without pretending like nothing is wrong but I have no one like that any more.

Everything I plan, everything I do, seems to come up snake eyes on me, I'm going in debt, my health is failing and yet... I feel forced to pretend everything is okay for the sake of others. I don't want to shatter their views of me, the upstanding kid who fought against all odds to succeed, to be his own boss, to have his own home and have money to play with at the end of the bill cycle. They come to me when they have problems yet I feel I have no one I can turn to for the same. In comparison I would say my life is better by societal standard of living but emotionally I am but a broken cask, unable to hold any tangible feeling of happiness, of joy, of love; rotting from the inside, my soul escaping into the nether.

I apologize to anyone who reads this, I know I can do something to change things but even with all my knowledge of the world, of people and society, I am lost and without a clue as to what that is.


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