My story.......
I sit here reading your stories lying in a bed, praying for god to take the pain away, listening quietly to the radio. 4 yrs ago my life basically ended... on a summer night, I was on my way to work when all of a sudden I was struck by a drunk driver. Knocked out, I came to with the alcohol on his breath, saying thank god I didn't kill you. After his arrest, it was found out it was his 15th dui arrest and I was his first victim. Both cars were destroyed, but I got up, walking around like normal, thinking I was hurt but refused the ride to the hospital. At the urge of my husband I went the next morning to learn I had broken my neck and back. I was a walking miracle, I broke the bone in my neck right into my spinal cord. I shattered the bone right above the bottom of my spine..., 4 surgeries later, I have a new bionic neck, and more hardware in my spine than most. I have lost the ability to have children, ever. I have never had a day since the accident without pain.... and I am talking screaming, crying, begging for mercy pain. I have lost most of my memory, I don't remember my wedding day, or graduation, or parents funeral. All his because someone else made a mistake. I was just going to work. I can no longer have sex with my husband, I can no longer take a walk, swim,ride a bike, work, or go out to eat without loading up on oxycontin and morphine. I wear a body brace, have kids point and laugh, and people stare....'again not my mistake. I go in weekly for nerve burnings in my spine, facet blocks, caudel blocks, and epidural blocks. I can't pick up my dog, or my neice.... I watch my sister with her baby and know that will NEVER be me. There is a bully at work that makes fun of me, and just got someone to print out my Facebook page so they could all laugh
at me. I know th ings happen for a reason, but I can't figure it out. I started to test knives on my skin to find the sharpest one. I love my husband but I hate what I have turned into. | |
I wish I could caress your cheek because words are not enough.
To my family going out on disability is considered a failure / a waste of society, i am trying to work in tremendous pain, and not add one more problem to my list.... my husband loves me and wants me to stop, but what little family I have left would consider me whale poo poo
I have tried to look at photos to remember the day, or person, and nothing, it is gone... I am still laying in the same bed listening to the same radio and just crying my heart out...... praying it gets better, why must I suffer for someone else mistake..... we have started nerve burnings, and unfortunately in the middle if treatment I have lost bladder control... because I wasn't in enough pain, we have added the embarasment of wetting my pants to it. Depends is not the ago booster I was looking for.
Pls know that GOD will be there for you always .The human feelings that you have are there as we all ppl who have a flesh and have a heart.Please know GOD has plans for you.Pray that you will not take this accident as s sad thing but jst wait on the Lord.Ask him ,pray to him to give you strenght to help you out of this and he can he is able pray for a miracle from GOD if he can do it then he can very well do it now my friend .Pray ask till he gives you healing .He wil...trust this .
GOD bless u
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