My life sucks...im just using this so i can offload how really feel.. Im not really allowed to talk about being adopted because it upsets my parents.. I walk around feeling like Im going to explode!
You never know what you have until its gone. I was in foster care till the age of one, because my mum didnt think she could look after me properly, seeing as my mum and dad were quite young, also my dad has severe mental problems, so im quite fortunate that im not like that, if you get me. I was then adopted into a large family, and then when i was ten, my mum drowned herself, and the hospital couldnt bring her back to life. And my dad has mental problems and dosent even know i excist. Knowing that now has changed my life, I try and disguise how i feel by changing the way i act. So i seem quite loud and crazy but under all of that i feel as if im going to have a nervous break down, i now go to a secondary school, have good friends, and sometimes i find school quite hard, but its an easy way of getting my mind off of my home enviroment, I have two brothers and two older sisters, not bilogical.. as im growing up i find out more and more about my background, and it hits hard sometimes...I sometimes get bullied about my colour, which is pretty hard to handle beacause discriminating someone about there coulour i think is disgraceful, we are all the same, blood, bones and souls, black and white now have equal rights so its wrong to dis someone about the colour of there skin!..
You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back...Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of my mum.. and every song I heard somehow related to her. reminds me of the one thing I dont have...i will do the best in life for her..shes still with me in my heart..god bless...love her forever & always.♥♥ | |
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