Well to start my mom and dad got a divorce when I was very young. Both hated each other and my sisters and I were always stick in the middle of it and my sisters at the time were 14 and 15 which meant in a few years they could drive and leave the house, but that wasn't for me. My mom grabbed me right as she could leave and she bought an apartment but didn't have money to buy furniture for a week but only could buy a couch which both of us had to sleep on for about a month. We gradually obtained more furniture and shortly made a nice little home that we stayed in for about a year, just the only problem with this is that I couldn't see my dad or my sisters at all for that whole year which made me gain depression. My mom at the time pretty much brain washed me to hate my dad because I asked her to go see him and my sisters, now at this point she saw that she could easily control and mold my mind to her liking which made many later-in-life choices hard to pick and a few I should have picked but because of her and her mind bonding shit I couldn't.
When we moved out we moved to a condo and lived there for 3 years, but now this is where the real "My life sucks" part starts to fall into place because just a few months later she started drinking heavily and staying up till 5a.m. listening to her music really loud but I just ignored it knowing that she wouldn't do anything to me but luckily my eldest sister moved in just a month after my mom started drinking which saved me from something that started shortly after. Two years pasted and the time living at the condo wasn't that bad other then the part about my mom drinking which lead to her alcoholism and other mental health problems such as depression, extreme paranoia, and a few others too. When we moved to my fourth home right down the street things were "normal" for about a month till my mom started to become a mean, depressed drunk. She started drinking way more then she ever had and yelled at me and my sister for no reason and my sister would have to defend me through out the 2 years of her living there.
The ending of 2010 was the worst because my sister was moving out but to top things off my mom fell off the stairs on her birthday because she was drunk and hit her head so hard that she got an aneurysm but lucky for her the only thing that happened was a few nights at the hospital and really bad headache for two days. This didn't even help explain to her that she needs to stop drinking and continued to drink which made her verbally abuse me for about a year and made her get closer to a near death experience. This so called near death experience happened not to long ago and was of her own stupid doing, she tried to kill herself by taking pills and drinking while drunk which made her really high instead of overdosing her self like she planed. Instead she called the police and told them because at some point she thought she really was going to die and didn't want to at that time for some reason. The next morning when I got up my sisters told me and it hit me hard for about a minute till I overheard them on the phone saying that she was fine. At this point I was more happy then sad because I thought that she would finally stop drinking and even if she wouldn't want to the state would make her anyway, but of course she never learns from her mistakes which made me turn to an old friend of mine named cannabis. I started smoking weed back in seventh grade to stop my anxiety, depression and to cool off from her verbal abuse but stopped shortly after because my dealer got caught and making me wait for a year before I could get more but only used it in serious situations. In ninth grade how ever I used it every day because my depression and mental state was over the edge due to my mom's abuses and shit she gave me.
My use of cannabis wasn't too much in my opinion but I became slack with it as I went through the first months of high school. I started to get more slack with my weed because at the time I was in need of money and I started selling Xanax to people at school and half of the ninth grade was buying from me, and when I mean half I really mean half even the kids you wouldn't think of doing shit like that was buying it. Now after I was done for good slinging Xanax and having almost 150 dollars from just a month of selling the small 0.25mg I became really forgetful and careless of where I kept things and one morning I thought I grabbed the right Altoids container with Altoids in it but it wasn't and when I arrived at school I had no idea what I brought to school which lead to my downfall. In my last period class I wanted a mint so I reached down and grabbed the container and popped it open but to my surprise out flies my weed on my lap and here comes my teacher walking past me and she noticed it on my lap, but right as she saw it on my lap she flew out the room and got the assistance principle which came walking in and asking me to get up. When I got up, it of course fell to the floor where everyone saw it but he quickly grabbed it and told me to walk. When we got to his office I was asked many questions and searched by two police but the worst part is that I had to call my mom to come which turned out fine some how because she wasn't mad but crying over it. Finally when we finished the paper work I got to go home but had to go to a night school for three months.
This night school was fucking stupid and a waste of time but I tried my hardest and completed it but like what my dad said "I think your going to have problems after all of this still." and he was right. My credits got fucked up and I have to re-do 2 classes which sucks and still have to do something called arbitration in which I have to to re-pay me debt to the state and I don't even know when that starts ether. Now i'm living with my dad and sister and overall living a somewhat good life now after the many years of near suicide and pain caused by my mom. I've always wanted to write about this but never got around doing so and this made me feel a lot better, but thanks for reading the long but short part of my life Ill probably look back upon in later years having the constant reminder of it all. | |
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