You know what hurts?
When everyone you care about leaves you. I am constantly fighting to have my friends stick around because it kills me to know that without them i have nothing while if they lose me it's like losing a leaf from a fully healthy tree. So unneccesary. I find myself crying because i wish i had the social skills of other people. I wish i was more outgoing. I wish i could make others laugh. I wish i was atleast decently good looking so people can atleast want me around for that.
Sadly i'm none of the above. I don't drink, i don't smoke, i don't do drugs, and i don't party. I spend the most time in my bedroom writing poetry and stories to lament for my lack of friends. And family? Even worse. They never come looking for me when i constantly call them trying to achieve some kinda bond. But it never happens. They never care. If i had just one person i know i could turn to when i feel like this would i be here now? Absolutely not.
My life sucks because i have nobody and i have to fight to make bonds with people. I'm awkward, i'm shy, and i don't have a backbone.
I'm lonely, i'm tired, and i only have the company of myself. | |
Do you have a hobby? You mentioned poetry. Have you ever considered attending a poetry reading? Even if you don't want to read your own (though you should! It's fun!), you may really connect with the other people there. If not that, try attending book readings, or local plays, or local bands. Somewhere where it is normal to talk with strangers. Art galleries, bowling allies, book stores, car shows, any of these places encourage strangers with common interests to politely comment and ask questions of others. This creates friendships and shared interests.
Even if you don't have a current hobby, is there one that calls to you? Would you like to paint, or metal work, or fix cars, or hike, or take care of pets? There is bound to be a local group that does these things in every US community.
Sometimes volunteering is helpful too. If you have the time you can work on some community improvement with other concerned citizens. You can clean a highway, visit retirement homes, help kids struggling with reading, help animals, join a run-for-the-cure group if you're the sporting type.
There are lots of social venues that will get you near the sot of people you are interested in being with. You may find yourself growing into a new person! Just think about how you want to spend your time and try to find people who are like minded. It'll work :)
New Comment