From an outside perspective I probably look like a normal person.
Trust me, I am anything but normal. Whatever goes on inside my head isn't really controlled by me; it takes all of my concentration to even monitor it.
But anyway, in the interest of appearing like a somewhat normal member of society,I am friendly, talkative, and I seem approachable.
The problem is people get bored with me very quickly for some reason. I have had friends, but never for more than a few months at a time. For whatever reason they all have stopped calling me, even though I continue to try to make plans. And if by some miracle we do make plans to hang out or socialize, they stand me up at the last minute.
So I have given up trying to make lasting fiendships with people and have settled with being that person you can call when you need to move your furniture around, but you won't call if there's a party.
I can't get anybody to be friends with me for over a year. I'm being used by the people who are forced to see me on a regular basis through circumstance. And I've given up; I no longer care what happens to me.
So I spend my nights alone reading, running errands, or at the gym. I spend my days working with minimal conversation. And the conversations I do have are shallow and easily forgotten.
I'm just alone with my thoughts, Few of which are happy. | |
same thought also happen to me.
u re not alone :)
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