LIFE SUCKS

Why was I Born

I was born in 1957 in a family of 6 children and I was the 5th. My mother at the time of my birth had hepititis A which caused me to be a slow learner. My father was a controlling man to my mother and just didn't allow anything to happen unless he approved it. He was abusive to all his children espically me when it came to dicipline. I wasn't a good looking child, I was sickly and skinny. I had a skin disease. My brothers and sister wanted nothing to do with me. In fact they grew mean towards me by tieing me to a bed or locking me in a closet. I never had any type of tallents or skills. In 2nd grade I was whipped by my teacher every day or every other day but I never told my parents because I was afraid I would get whipped even harder at home. In my teen years there were three of the children still at home. My father favored my lttle brother and my mother favored my older sister. I didn't fit in to their life so I was pretty much on my own with out anyone to talk to. a young teen boy needs to know thing s like not taking drugs or having sex before marriage. What I learned I learned on my own from others in some cases when it was to late. When I left home I was totally unprepaired for the world. I sufffered financial debts and more sickness and had no idea what I was doing. Once again what I learned I had to learn the hard way when it was to late. All this time I prayed to God for the answers but no answers came. I ask God why would you put me on this earth knowing all it would be is hurt and failure. Had I not been born there would be no heaven or hell, just non-exsistance. I think I am cursed by God and this is the best it will ever be. Just preperation for hell. I Have no choice.